nissa0909

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Offline (the 04/20/2016 at 5:40am)

nissa0909

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1222
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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nissa0909's page activity

Visits<b>Cdwoods</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 11:50pm<b>aliveinthelights</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:03pm<b>facelick</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 10:25am<b>ironhead</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 5:49pm<b>Sjus</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 5:24pm<b>BrotherPhil</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 2:18am<b>thistrifelife</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 2:57pm<b>Neyuu</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 5:26am<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 7:04pm<b>fuckyourlifeOP</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 3:50am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 2:23pm<b>Reva750</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 2:11am<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 9:08pm<b>theWulff</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 2:53pm<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 12:11am<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 9:16pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 2:16am<b>sillybilly132</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 6:25pm

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nissa0909's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 3:06am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML

by Mike / 12/17/2009 at 11:38am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of my life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be ended by her killing either herself or me. FML

by cheezmaster / 12/16/2009 at 6:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I walked into my apartment to find my boyfriend of two years screwing my lifelong best friend. I immediately burst into tears. He looked at me and told me I was being too dramatic. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2009 at 3:39am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML

by FYLyfer / 10/26/2009 at 5:34pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML

by roadbikemama / 10/25/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

by scaredtosleep / 09/24/2009 at 5:50am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was getting up to leave and I, trying to be romantic, got up behind her and tried to swing her back down onto the bed and kiss her simultaneously, misjudged the distance and threw her into the wall, her head then bounced off the wall and into my forehead, spraining her nose. FML

by dontpanic / 09/21/2009 at 3:08pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I was at work and my mother texted me. The text read, "You take a nice picture." To which I responded, "what picture?" I then got a reply saying, "The one on your speeding ticket showing you going 73 in a 55 mph zone. You are even smiling." FML

by asdfas / 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation

Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML

by drugged_on_arrival / 09/10/2009 at 6:55am / Virgin Islands British / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

by Co-B / 09/03/2009 at 4:59pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I showed up at work and a coworker pointed a gun at me. After twisting his arm and leveling his face into the wall, I found out it was a lighter. Now I might lose my job over his stupid joke. FML

by Fibericon / 08/17/2009 at 4:02pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML

by OfCourse / 06/27/2009 at 1:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML

by meantowheels / 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous