About nishi : |:
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23560) - you deserved it (44451)
On 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by fartmaster (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (100804) - you deserved it (3610)
On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - health - by Fitz (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (129239) - you deserved it (5329)
On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (126583) - you deserved it (18189)
On 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (363628) - you deserved it (20220)
On 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my wife of over 20 years told me she wants a divorce because she wants "a change in life". She has had the same mullet hair cut since '84. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66044) - you deserved it (7643)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (34239) - you deserved it (52944)
On 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm - kids - by superfkd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43823) - you deserved it (8375)
On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21705) - you deserved it (35685)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56980) - you deserved it (4067)
On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11055) - you deserved it (20945)
On 02/11/2009 at 6:59am - misc - by Crog (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)
Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17849) - you deserved it (3810)
On 02/08/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by N (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27519) - you deserved it (1887)
On 02/02/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by a268 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I put on my favorite booty shorts and walked outside to smoke a cigarette. My dog had chewed a hole in the middle of my shorts, and I was standing on a balcony that's located on the busiest street in town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4533) - you deserved it (16752)
On 01/30/2009 at 11:08pm - animals - by ThatsNotRight - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14768) - you deserved it (4476)
On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)
Monday 20 May 2013
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