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ninipooh2's favorite FMLs
by aianmoo16 / 05/01/2016 at 5:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Money
by jack the ripped / 04/30/2016 at 12:38am / United States / Health
Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML
by Dramaqueenfornothing / 04/27/2016 at 6:32pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love
Today, I walked in on my best friend with his hand down my girlfriend's pants and her moaning for him to "keep going". She had the brass balls to claim she had a "tummy ache" and that he was just rubbing her stomach better. I may be a total dumbass, but I'm not THAT stupid. FML
by Anonymous / 10/23/2015 at 4:10pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy
by Peter Steele love / 10/17/2015 at 8:49pm / United Kingdom (North Somerset) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/13/2015 at 3:35am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was taking a long, relaxing, hot bath with my girlfriend after a long day. She had fallen asleep in my arms and everything was perfect - until I noticed the water around us had started turning yellow as she pissed herself in her sleep. FML
by itsbeenalongday / 09/27/2015 at 12:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML
by Anonymous / 09/21/2015 at 9:00am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
by pudh / 08/05/2015 at 7:08am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
by anon / 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by A / 05/22/2015 at 11:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Rar / 05/09/2015 at 1:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by RBergman / 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love
Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML
by craZycatLady / 04/20/2015 at 2:06pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…