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ninabrisa

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ninabrisa

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  • Number of visits : 337
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ninabrisa's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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ninabrisa's favorite FMLs

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

#21414271
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19161) - you deserved it (3995)

On 05/23/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by Strainer - United States (California)

Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposely poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

#21414073
73 comments

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

#21414003
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24181) - you deserved it (1670)

On 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by homo fuckofftus (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

#21413959
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26481) - you deserved it (2423)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

#21413610
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28189) - you deserved it (2594)

On 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went indoor rock climbing. After finally making it to the top, my pants ripped on my last move. I wasn't wearing any underwear. FML

#21412970
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20119) - you deserved it (17587)

On 05/20/2015 at 10:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML

#21412889
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30848) - you deserved it (2498)

On 05/20/2015 at 4:45am - intimacy - by wtf bro (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my brother changed my Google+ name without asking. He has done this before and I fixed it by just changing it back. Turns out Google has a 3-time limit per year for how many times you can change your name. Now I'm stuck with "Poop" for my YouTube name for a year. FML

#21412861
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24408) - you deserved it (3821)

On 05/20/2015 at 1:34am - misc - by KittKatt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spent half-an-hour trapped inside my dog's crate. The door locked behind me as I squeezed myself inside to stroke her. After bellowing at my family in the garden for what felt like an eternity, they came through just to laugh and take pictures. FML

#21412642
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22373) - you deserved it (7707)

On 05/19/2015 at 4:58pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The)

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

#21412477
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25410) - you deserved it (9176)

On 05/19/2015 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up to my roommates "pet" snake casually lying in bed with me. I then got yelled at for screaming and scaring the snake. Apparently, it's my fault that it bit my chin. FML

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

#21412078
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23914) - you deserved it (6838)

On 05/18/2015 at 4:40pm - misc - by Swabidizop - United States (Colorado)

Today, one of my idiot co-workers thought it'd be hilarious to "fix" my car while I was working. Now every time I step on the brake pedal, the horn goes off. FML

#21412007
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27139) - you deserved it (2271)

On 05/18/2015 at 2:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

#21411971
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29430) - you deserved it (2884)

On 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

#21410586
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21294) - you deserved it (10290)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:26pm - health - by hedayk - United States (New York)



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