Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nikogyn

Search for a member

nikogyn
  • Town/Country : Georgetown, Guyana
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 June 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 2650
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About nikogyn : So you want me to tell you something about myself? I don't have anything to say. Even if I did, you'd be wrong to believe me. Trust is a lie, nobody ever knows anyone.


There are only two ways by which man can reach civilization. One is by being cultured, the other by being corrupt.

nikogyn's last visitors

razi1ApexReapermel_tran_ChristinesayyysFreezeRiileyKaramelochalkdustShowmehowtolivedanielle25

nikogyn's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of nikogyn's badges

nikogyn's favorite FMLs

Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

#14662747
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22010) - you deserved it (2205)

On 01/21/2011 at 2:46pm - health - by turnedintoinsomniac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

#14659588
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12638) - you deserved it (24210)

On 01/21/2011 at 6:41am - love - by gummy bear -

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

#14647834
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8890) - you deserved it (30530)

On 01/20/2011 at 5:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend spent an hour lecturing me on how I need to ask for what I want. So I asked him to delete a crappy picture he'd taken of me the night before. His response: "No, you don't always get what you want." FML

#14639216
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20085) - you deserved it (7193)

On 01/19/2011 at 2:19pm - love - by ugh (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I rode home alone on a train. I accidentally missed my stop, but wasn't worried about it. My mom did not share my optimism and actually called the train company, saying that I was "lost" and "special". They thought she meant I was retarded. They wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't. FML

#14627865
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23569) - you deserved it (2651)

On 01/18/2011 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML

#14626510
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26340) - you deserved it (3609)

On 01/18/2011 at 1:35pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML

#14619610
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26110) - you deserved it (5478)

On 01/17/2011 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by No O-face (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

#14616201
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23958) - you deserved it (3591) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38062) - you deserved it (25746) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

#14610612
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41447) - you deserved it (2813) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12844) - you deserved it (34218) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML

#14604912
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19583) - you deserved it (2710)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:37pm - misc - by thisisme (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm 19 years old and, having never been on a date, I agreed to let my friend set me up. He was adorable, young, with blond hair and blue eyes...and 4 years old. My friend tricked me into babysitting. FML

#14596277
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27837) - you deserved it (3793)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

#14585624
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11123) - you deserved it (44596)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML

#14567167
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31804) - you deserved it (6817)

On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: