About nikogyn : So you want me to tell you something about myself? I don't have anything to say. Even if I did, you'd be wrong to believe me. Trust is a lie, nobody ever knows anyone.
There are only two ways by which man can reach civilization. One is by being cultured, the other by being corrupt.
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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I learned the hard way that when a pierced, tattooed, and otherwise extremely stereotypical biker chick jokingly threatens to find you and beat you up if you don't call her back after a one-night stand, she's not actually joking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10144) - you deserved it (31577)
On 08/20/2011 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by owmyhead (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105402) - you deserved it (5808)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46125) - you deserved it (14702)
On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28027) - you deserved it (2712)
On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34740) - you deserved it (1941)
On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32660) - you deserved it (11852)
On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24783) - you deserved it (4412)
On 06/23/2011 at 4:53am - kids - by wow - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31292) - you deserved it (9229)
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29689) - you deserved it (6816)
On 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm - misc - by missy - United States (Alaska)
Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25354) - you deserved it (9383)
On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81035) - you deserved it (7243)
On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30792) - you deserved it (2506)
On 06/05/2011 at 3:00am - misc - by kyle - United States (Ohio)
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17591) - you deserved it (35772)
On 05/30/2011 at 12:29am - love - by kingpin9219 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I finally told the girl I've been after for more than a year that I'm attracted to her. Her response? A slight hug with a pat on the back as she said "There, there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27254) - you deserved it (3133)
On 05/28/2011 at 2:54am - love - by fedemere - United States (Florida)
Today, I was walking home when a stranger came up to me and told me to give him a good reason why he shouldn't punch me in the face. I guess none were good enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31451) - you deserved it (2854)
On 05/27/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)
Friday 24 May 2013
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