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About nikigustapie : my name is nikki. and i like pie.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today I Found Out My Class Was Attempting To Raise Money Fir Me Through A Bake Sale Because Some Grl Spread A False Rumor That I Was Raped And That My Father Was Going To Disown Me. Thehole School Believes It And My Biology Teacher Took Me Aside And Asked If I Needed Someone To Confide In. FML
Today, my mom turned to me an said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed . She then said "Like that . Your laugh.. . What is that? Change that." FML
Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML
Today I was at the parkhen I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me 4 six blocks. FML
2day I hered my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door... "Are u jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up u fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, ma two year old daugter decided to crawl on top of te covers on ma bed because se was scared since tere looool was a tunder storm. I tougt se was one of our cats so I kicked er off. Se it te wall.
yesterday I was aving cybersex via webcam wit ma boyfriend . Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on ma finger . Judging by te look on ma boyfriend's face, e was getting really into it . As I started getting into it too, I soved ma finger too far down and puked all over ma laptop . FML
TODAY, I FOUND OUT TAT I'M PREGNANT. MY USBAND AN I AVE BEEN TRYING TO AVE A BABBY 4 A WILE, AN I WAS VERY EXCITED TO TELL IM TE NEWS. WEN I OPENED IS OFFICE PLANNING TO SURPRISE IM WIT TE NEWS, I SAW IM MAKING OUT WIT A MAN. FML
I was going to ave sex wit ma Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn im on, so I asked ma friend ow to say "fuck me" in Spanis. Se claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I ten ad sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito 4 an our. I later realized I was screaming "fried cicken." fat FML
Today.. . I Was Waitering At The Restaurant That I Work At When I Collectd A Credit Card Bill That Was Worth $120 An A Big Zero On The Tip Line . Angerd.. . I Turnd To A Co-worker An Said "I Knew This Asshole Wasn't Going To Tip Me." The Guy Was Standing Right Behind Me With $30 In His Hand . FML
Friday 27 March 2015