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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18279) - you deserved it (21517)
On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore
Today, I had my friend Mark over for dinner. My Dad asked him what his dad did for a living. We all squirmed a bit when he told us that his dad died last year. We all went about finishing our meal when suddenly my dad says: "I'm sorry, Mark, what did you say your dad did for a living again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43658) - you deserved it (1985)
On 08/25/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by youzabadgirl12 - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28006) - you deserved it (14806)
On 08/24/2009 at 5:57am - intimacy - by Mattyboy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for god knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowningly drove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10366) - you deserved it (32344)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by snakeboy (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38061) - you deserved it (3710)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by secretdeo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my little brother. He was looking at me and says "so cool." I asked him what was so cool and he says "it's not that cool but, your eyebrow connects to your other eyebrow". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26276) - you deserved it (10738)
On 08/23/2009 at 3:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boss was handing me a list of phone numbers to call people and terminate them from their jobs here at the company. My phone was on that list. I don't know what's worse, not realizing it was my number until I heard my voicemail or getting terminated from my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28738) - you deserved it (2704)
On 08/21/2009 at 6:12pm - work - by Cally (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51089) - you deserved it (2550)
On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12592) - you deserved it (32724)
On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I said something in class and someone mimicked me. In a self-pitying mood, I exclaimed, "Everybody hates me!" The girl behind me then said, "Pretty much." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15618) - you deserved it (32049)
On 08/20/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by guitar_chick7 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I farted while I was in line at the bank. I tried to pretend it wasn't me by looking at the man behind me and turning back with a disgusted look on my face. I thought I had gotten away with it when the man yells "It wasn't me, this bitch did it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6116) - you deserved it (72780)
On 08/19/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by moutz (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his family. They were drinking and having fun, so I joined in. I had one too many, got really goofy and then suggested the farting game. "Sorry, I can't hold my liquor!" I quickly explained. My boyfriend's mom shot me a cold look and said, "It's non-alcoholic." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8191) - you deserved it (78143)
On 08/18/2009 at 4:04am - misc - by probably_the_ex_now (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him "Well, who's gonna replace me?" His answer was "I don't know and don't care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35169) - you deserved it (17893)
On 08/17/2009 at 5:16pm - work - by vmml97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend of 5 years. I love her so much and I've been treating her extremely well. Before I could pop the question, she said in these exact words: "Babe, our relationship is like a drunken night. Fun while it lasted but its something I'd rather forget." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49041) - you deserved it (2247)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:04am - love - by singleandheartbroken (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, and then he said, "Lets pretend you are someone else." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46741) - you deserved it (3840)
On 08/17/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by somebodyelse (woman) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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