Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nightwishs

Search for a member

nightwishs

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 November 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1030
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About nightwishs : I'm married to an ex army commando, I'm originally from Sydney, I rescue animals. At the moment my husband and I have five ferrets, a cat, a British giant rabbit, two frogs and countless fish! I love tattoos ( hate when they get called tats) I have over thirteen of them a few tattooed by me. I love music, all kind of metal! I am NOT gothic... Mearly a whimsical metal head who happens to like the alternative scene. I love people and most people love me! I'm honest... Very honest! I hate liars. My name is Paige! I've been singing since I was five. Motor bikes are sexy... Cars can be to! I love old stuff, I collect suits of armour! Ask me more questions :)

nightwishs's page activity

Visits<b>Baller_Bob</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 7:13am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 11:29pm<b>matticus27</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 8:47am<b>mariam55</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 5:36am<b>B5B0N35</b> - the 12/19/2012 at 4:42pm<b>Nakoma</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 2:29pm<b>mehwhocares</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 1:13pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/05/2012 at 12:37pm<b>tj4234</b> - the 05/20/2012 at 8:14pm<b>Strychnine</b> - the 05/10/2012 at 10:12pm

nightwishs's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of nightwishs's badges

nightwishs's favorite FMLs

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

#20193528
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23960) - you deserved it (4099)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I bought my son a nice car for his 18th birthday. When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay for college. FML

#20192045
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14735) - you deserved it (48572)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:27am - kids - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML

#20192033
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37741) - you deserved it (2412)

On 12/05/2012 at 5:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11884) - you deserved it (28001)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML

#20191114
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10872) - you deserved it (20925)

On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)

Today, I faced a dilemma. If I don't let the cat sleep in my bedroom, she spends all night howling at the door, waking up my 2-year-old in the process. If I do let her in, the dog gets distressed and chews the contents of the bin. If I let both of them in, I have no room to sleep. FML

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20831) - you deserved it (1448)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML

#20188746
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22401) - you deserved it (2281)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

#20186585
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25691) - you deserved it (2576)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41915) - you deserved it (6606)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

Today, while working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost and wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face and harsh words for supposedly having kidnapped him. FML

#20183959
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23577) - you deserved it (1486)

On 11/29/2012 at 1:08pm - work - by bitch i'm a gerontophile (man) - Taiwan

Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML

#20182157
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24845) - you deserved it (2380)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by boo8713 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

#20179140
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23395) - you deserved it (2339)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)

Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML

#20174439
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22802) - you deserved it (2334)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11219) - you deserved it (27266)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: