nightslayer

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nightslayer

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 June 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7318
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About nightslayer : Well yeah

nightslayer's page activity

Visits<b>mkmon7</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 5:22pm<b>natty11</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:24pm<b>JLBavard</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 6:45pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:50pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:24pm<b>Jennandco</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 10:57am<b>grimmangel13</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:53pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 9:19pm<b>kjblack</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 2:24am<b>Bobissmall</b> - the 09/21/2011 at 4:07am<b>sammybearbby</b> - the 08/06/2011 at 8:41pm

nightslayer's FML badges

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nightslayer's favorite FMLs

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

by dummy / 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

Today, I spent the entire day in my room trying to figure out how to get rid of my psycho boyfriend without dying. FML

by illenram06 / 07/11/2011 at 11:37am / Philippines (Roxas) / Love

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

by Mothering / 07/11/2011 at 5:25am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, at work, I told a lady checking out to sign her name after sliding her credit card. After she started signing her name, she threw the pen down in frustration saying that the pen was out of ink. We use electronic pin pads. FML

by asianjoe / 07/10/2011 at 9:13pm / United States (Utah) / Work

Today, I was invited into a group chat on Skype. Everyone ignored everything I said, so I got pissed and started yelling at them. Then I realised my microphone wasn't plugged in right. FML

by Canuckster / 07/10/2011 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was jamming out in my car, tapping my fingers on the wheel and bobbing my head. At the next stoplight, I happened to look over and the passenger of the car next to me was holding a sign in the window saying, "I bet you don't have a boyfriend, do you?" FML

by brittbrat4 / 07/04/2011 at 8:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML

by Bekah / 07/04/2011 at 9:24am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML

by fmylife7721 / 07/03/2011 at 1:51am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to sing a sweet lullaby to my two year old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML

by dee / 07/03/2011 at 1:36am / United States / Kids

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

by Cowgirl_Up37 / 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

by parenting sucks / 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my Dad sat me down and told me that I was adopted. I was unbelievably shocked by this revelation and asked him why he'd never told me this before. His response was, "I didn't know!" FML

by adopteddd / 06/28/2011 at 10:30am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Miscellaneous

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

by girlshavepenises / 06/28/2011 at 2:39am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy

Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML

by luni / 06/26/2011 at 5:17pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love