About nightslayer : Well yeah
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10277) - you deserved it (38877)
On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I spent the entire day in my room trying to figure out how to get rid of my psycho boyfriend without dying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36587) - you deserved it (4737)
On 07/11/2011 at 11:37am - misc - by illenram06 - Philippines (Roxas)
Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23968) - you deserved it (8597)
On 07/11/2011 at 5:25am - kids - by Mothering (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, at work, I told a lady checking out to sign her name after sliding her credit card. After she started signing her name, she threw the pen down in frustration saying that the pen was out of ink. We use electronic pin pads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21935) - you deserved it (2044)
On 07/10/2011 at 9:13pm - work - by asianjoe (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was invited into a group chat on Skype. Everyone ignored everything I said, so I got pissed and started yelling at them. Then I realised my microphone wasn't plugged in right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7072) - you deserved it (38144)
On 07/10/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Canuckster (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was jamming out in my car, tapping my fingers on the wheel and bobbing my head. At the next stoplight, I happened to look over and the passenger of the car next to me was holding a sign in the window saying, "I bet you don't have a boyfriend, do you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23965) - you deserved it (4402)
On 07/04/2011 at 8:25pm - misc - by brittbrat4 - United States
Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26956) - you deserved it (3499)
On 07/04/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Bekah (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11186) - you deserved it (32008)
On 07/03/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by fmylife7721 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I decided to sing a sweet lullaby to my two year old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23460) - you deserved it (4412)
On 07/03/2011 at 1:36am - kids - by dee - United States
Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8409) - you deserved it (38254)
On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26802) - you deserved it (2304)
On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29405) - you deserved it (3708)
On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)
Today, my Dad sat me down and told me that I was adopted. I was unbelievably shocked by this revelation and asked him why he'd never told me this before. His response was, "I didn't know!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33701) - you deserved it (1995)
On 06/28/2011 at 10:30am - misc - by adopteddd (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34340) - you deserved it (2747)
On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27315) - you deserved it (6343)
On 06/26/2011 at 5:17pm - love - by luni - United Kingdom (Devon)
Monday 20 May 2013
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