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nightslayer

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 June 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4288
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About nightslayer : Well yeah

nightslayer's page activity

Visits<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 9:19pm<b>kjblack</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 2:24am<b>Bobissmall</b> - the 09/21/2011 at 4:07am<b>sammybearbby</b> - the 08/06/2011 at 8:41pm

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nightslayer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML

#17399752
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23392) - you deserved it (4560)

On 08/07/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Polmkk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML

#17398453
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28207) - you deserved it (10448)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:29pm - work - by power corrupts... (woman) - Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj)

Today, my niece told me to go and find my own friends. She's 2, and I'm 18. FML

#17395246
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26278) - you deserved it (5282)

On 08/07/2011 at 5:52am - kids - by myheart75 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34226) - you deserved it (9860)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

#17390536
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40952) - you deserved it (5949)

On 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm - love - by FML! - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34512) - you deserved it (3439)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML

#17389169
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25574) - you deserved it (4257)

On 08/06/2011 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML

#17384739
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27149) - you deserved it (2519)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

#17381652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31024) - you deserved it (5251)

On 08/05/2011 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

#17375446
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47949) - you deserved it (2387)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)

Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML

#17373083
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26012) - you deserved it (11696)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML

#17371969
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54061) - you deserved it (2652)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm - misc - by Thebestman123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML

#17367681
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11099) - you deserved it (21610)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:47pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

#17365411
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13819) - you deserved it (56688)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

#17355150
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26207) - you deserved it (7810)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)



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