nightslayer

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nightslayer

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 June 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7171
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About nightslayer : Well yeah

nightslayer's page activity

Visits<b>mkmon7</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 5:22pm<b>natty11</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:24pm<b>JLBavard</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 6:45pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:50pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:24pm<b>Jennandco</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 10:57am<b>grimmangel13</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:53pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 9:19pm<b>kjblack</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 2:24am<b>Bobissmall</b> - the 09/21/2011 at 4:07am<b>sammybearbby</b> - the 08/06/2011 at 8:41pm

nightslayer's FML badges

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nightslayer's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

by bursteardrums / 08/16/2011 at 11:00am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

by NaniNarcotic / 08/16/2011 at 6:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, at my aunt's wedding, the time for the tossing of the bouquet came and the announcer asked for all the single ladies to gather behind the bride. I was the only one. FML

by single lady / 08/15/2011 at 10:45am / United States (California) / Love

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

by brittbrat4 / 08/13/2011 at 2:51am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

by -_- / 08/12/2011 at 8:05pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

by Coldsnap / 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML

by Pissedoff777 / 08/12/2011 at 1:33am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML

by Musicfan / 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

by bathroomgirl / 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML

by 6u174r_d00d / 08/10/2011 at 5:10pm / United States / Love

Today, while walking on the sidewalk, someone hit me with their car. They yelled at me for being in their way. FML

by TheKunitzShow14 / 08/10/2011 at 3:22am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, while walking on the sidewalk, someone hit me with their car. They yelled at me for being in their way. FML

by TheKunitzShow14 / 08/10/2011 at 3:22am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML

by thatfatkid / 08/10/2011 at 1:48am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML

by aliixmaee / 08/09/2011 at 10:50am / United States / Love