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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 June 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7530
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About nightslayer : Well yeah

nightslayer's page activity

Visits<b>mkmon7</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 5:22pm<b>natty11</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:24pm<b>JLBavard</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 6:45pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:50pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:24pm<b>Jennandco</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 10:57am<b>grimmangel13</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:53pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 9:19pm<b>kjblack</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 2:24am<b>Bobissmall</b> - the 09/21/2011 at 4:07am<b>sammybearbby</b> - the 08/06/2011 at 8:41pm

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nightslayer's favorite FMLs

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML

by Alexandra / 09/20/2011 at 4:25am / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I watched a cat pounce on a small bird and rip it to shreds, feather by feather. It wouldn't have been any worse than mildly disturbing, had I not just spent the last 4 weeks nursing the bird back to health from a broken wing. FML

by Twitchy / 09/14/2011 at 7:20pm / Bahamas (New Providence) / Animals

Today, I asked my mom why she drinks. She said she only drinks when she's depressed. My step-dad said she only drinks on the weekend. Those are the days I'm at her house. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2011 at 9:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML

by aru9 / 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband went downstairs to play Call of Duty. When he came back after only 20 minutes I said, "Awww, did you miss me?" He said, "No, the controller died." FML

Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML

by Angie / 09/09/2011 at 7:18pm / France / Love

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

by Not_you17 / 09/09/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Georgia) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

by kidswithnomanners / 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

by abby181 / 09/03/2011 at 10:36am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

by Harry Dare / 09/02/2011 at 12:31pm / United Kingdom (Walsall) / Love

Today, my husband went in for surgery and handed me an important document. It wasn't a will or anything similar, but a list of items and gold he wanted passed on to guild members on World of Warcraft. FML

by WoWWidow / 09/02/2011 at 4:02am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

by mannydanny / 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids