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nightslayer

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nightslayer
  • Town/Country : rapid city, south dakota, USA, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 June 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 4037
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About nightslayer : Well yeah

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nightslayer's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

#19350596
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22942) - you deserved it (4441)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:54am - kids - by ohhdear.___. (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16463) - you deserved it (28438)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

#18936421
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28183) - you deserved it (2187)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

#18860865
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32623) - you deserved it (9599)

On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend changed his relationship status on Facebook to "Single" and his status to "I'm not kidding, leave your key on the counter." FML

#18763355
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34833) - you deserved it (3345)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:52am - love - by Janie (woman) - United States

Today, my brother and I proposed to our girlfriends at the same time. We had perfect synchronization after practicing for days. My brother's girlfriend said yes, mine said no. FML

#18552373
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44441) - you deserved it (4395)

On 12/19/2011 at 10:40am - love - by emmmbo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML

#18549843
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26784) - you deserved it (2066)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:03am - health - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7343) - you deserved it (68920)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML

#18287242
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14034) - you deserved it (38135)

On 11/19/2011 at 6:42am - love - by kaybax - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33867) - you deserved it (18244)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37239) - you deserved it (7524)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a promise ring. It was so sweet and romantic, until he said, "I want to marry you one day. But I want to date some other girls first." FML

#18224310
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36119) - you deserved it (2876)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:06am - love - by so romantic - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

#18086804
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12166) - you deserved it (32291)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15111) - you deserved it (28068)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46808) - you deserved it (14935)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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