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nicci0688

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nicci0688

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  • Number of visits : 474
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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nicci0688's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend read an FML by some guy about fight he had with his nutjob of a girlfriend. It was so bizarrely similar to a fight we had recently that she accused me of not having any balls and bitching about her to strangers. It wasn't even my story. FML

#21518234
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22700) - you deserved it (1762)

On 01/22/2016 at 3:55pm - love - by believe me now?? (man) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

#21516882
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19503) - you deserved it (2213)

On 01/19/2016 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

#21516257
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20568) - you deserved it (3241)

On 01/17/2016 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that the reason my soda always tastes funny is because my fiancé likes to mix different flavors together to see if I'll notice. FML

#21510957
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17603) - you deserved it (1951)

On 01/03/2016 at 11:15am - misc - by NAT - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend told me I sound like a squeaky toy during sex, and asked if I could get it under control because it creeps him out. FML

#21510905
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20268) - you deserved it (3720)

On 01/03/2016 at 4:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

#21510678
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25351) - you deserved it (22364)

On 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if you mix beer, an axe, shotgun shells and bad judgment, you get a rather expensive hospital stay. FML

Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML

#21479981
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23642) - you deserved it (2179)

On 10/14/2015 at 12:22pm - love - by StillnothowIimaginedmydaygoing (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my dad introduced me as his pet orangutan. I'm a redhead. FML

Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I found out I have diabetes. She thought it was an STD and I had cheated on her. So I explained what it really was and she dumped me again because she didn't want her future children to inherit my fucked up DNA. FML

#21473781
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28865) - you deserved it (1922)

On 09/28/2015 at 2:49pm - misc - by Guy (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was talking to my friend, who was telling me he's having suicidal thoughts lately. He then said he'd be back in a few minutes. Nearly an hour passed. I panicked, thinking he'd offed himself. Several minutes after I called the emergency services, he messaged me, saying "K, back." FML

#21443864
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26901) - you deserved it (3020)

On 07/19/2015 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

#21443788
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25376) - you deserved it (2934)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML

#21443327
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32613) - you deserved it (5462)

On 07/18/2015 at 1:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after months of hardcore training, free of injuries, I pinched a nerve in my neck while putting on a swimsuit to lie in the sun doing nothing. FML

#21443051
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25480) - you deserved it (2187)

On 07/17/2015 at 2:11pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33758) - you deserved it (4770)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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Friday 5 February 2016

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