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Today, I Had Sex With Mah Boyfriend For The First Time. After We Finishd, He Went Under The Covers And Startd Touching Me. At First I Thought He Was Trying To Give Me ( Oral Pleasure ). It Turns Out He Lost The Condom Inside Of Me And Was Trying To Fish It Out Before I Noticd. FML
Today.. . since I was taking a dump in mah wife's parents house.. . I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink . While still sitting down.. . I went to blow it out an apparently.. . no matter how strong of a man u are.. . u will still scream lyk a little grl if hot wax falls on your penis . FML
TODAY, MAH BROTHER IN LAW GOT INTO A FIGHT WITH MAH HUSBAND!! MY PREGNANT SISTER WAS YELLING AT HER HUSBAND TO STOP BEATING MAH HUSBAND UP!! WHEN I CAME INTO THE ROOM, I ASKD WHY THEY WERE FIGHTING!! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHO THE REAL FATHER OF MAH SISTER'S BABY IS!! FAT FML
Today , Aftar Gatting Dumpad By My Boyfriand , I Triad To Fina Comfort In Ona Of My Closast Friands. Ha Ambracad Mahila I Strugglad Against Taars , An Aftar A Faw Momants Of Silanca Said , "Hay , U Knowhat? I Would Fuck U Anytima. Anytima." FML
today my boyfriend was going down on me 4 the frst time !! He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself !! Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm 4 the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out !! FML
Today, my boyfriend sowed me a YouTube video of im popping a uge blackead on is foreead. He told me e ad been "growing" it for more tan 2 years now. I ave been caressing an kissing tat ting for almost 2 years because I tougt it was a beauty mark. real FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend of two yeres cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML
Today, the girl I've been dating, an starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, ( Really? ) She replied, ( Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby. ) FML
Yesterday I Decided To Have Sex 4 The First Time With Boyfriend. It Was His First Time Too. While In Bed, He Blankly Stopped And Stood Up And Got Out A Piece Of Paper From His Pockets. Turns Out, He Had Written Instruction On Wat To Do While In Bed, And Forgot Wat He Had To Do Next. FML
Friday 27 March 2015