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nfjskcbdkdjdjdn
  • Town/Country : NARNIA, USA BITCHEZ
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 531
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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nfjskcbdkdjdjdn's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to a cop that the reason I was speeding was because my girlfriend was in the hospital due to a car accident. He was working the accident just ten minutes before and saw me leave behind the ambulance. He still gave me a ticket. FML

#19181816
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29337) - you deserved it (5583)

On 02/28/2012 at 12:10pm - misc - by KidJwal - United States

Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML

#19165097
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26813) - you deserved it (4088)

On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML

#19165097
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26813) - you deserved it (4088)

On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my oven decided that it was going to lock and clean itself right in the middle of cooking my steaks. FML

#19157879
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23120) - you deserved it (3398)

On 02/25/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML

#19144925
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10443) - you deserved it (38095)

On 02/23/2012 at 8:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

#19137014
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6511) - you deserved it (12293)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32399) - you deserved it (4807)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

#19105085
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43898) - you deserved it (3765)

On 02/18/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by hatinthelife - United States (Utah)

Today, after recently moving to an apartment, we've already been asked if we wanted to buy drugs, had a children's chair thrown through the front window, our door painted with "CUNT LICKER" and my laundry stolen. FML

#19092499
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27403) - you deserved it (3147)

On 02/16/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Jeathrow - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. It's okay, though; she says we can still go on the vacation I planned next month for our 3 year anniversary, just "as friends." The tickets are non-refundable. FML

#19034269
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25984) - you deserved it (1860)

On 02/09/2012 at 2:02pm - love - by justfriends - United States

Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

#19026198
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21521) - you deserved it (1723)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

#19011478
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (4080)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML

#18864007
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17147) - you deserved it (4542)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - France

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML

#17685496
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28579) - you deserved it (4580)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Nublet (woman) - United States

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29017) - you deserved it (86360)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)



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