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nextstopplz

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nextstopplz
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  • Number of visits : 4062
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

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Today, I went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor went through the normal questions, then paused for a moment and jotted something down. Later when I got back my report from the checkup, I noticed that the doctor had checked the "no" box by "sexually active." She didn't even ask me that. FML

#1536104
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74118) - you deserved it (5427)

On 05/01/2009 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (328934) - you deserved it (35697)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

#226271
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23039) - you deserved it (31401)

On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22123) - you deserved it (36025)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

#161178
992 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58843) - you deserved it (643057)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

#121139
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64503) - you deserved it (16983)

On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

#8687
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31338) - you deserved it (12048)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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