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nessangel4

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nessangel4

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  • Number of visits : 230
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nessangel4's favorite FMLs

Today , mah wedding ring went missing. Later , mah 3-year-old came to me crying , he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off , he peed on me. real FML

#20108644
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34295) - you deserved it (3556)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today I recieved frantic calls an messages from my husband wonderinghere I was an if I was cheating on him . I was in the same house as him . FML

#20108635
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20968) - you deserved it (1792)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today... after having sex with my boyfriend... he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I askd why... he said that I ned to "pee out the semen." I explaind to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

#20107225
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37003) - you deserved it (6030)

On 10/08/2012 at 10:07am - intimacy - by bucollegegirl (woman) - United States

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me . I held mah breath slightly . This resulted in me breathing out through mah nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face . He looked at me in horror an walked away . FML

#20106995
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25465) - you deserved it (5170)

On 10/08/2012 at 3:14am - love - by stoych (woman) - United Kingdom

yesterday I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope u kept the receipt." FML

#20106911
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30705) - you deserved it (3997)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by juliette (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, mah boyfriend discoverd that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs mah clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewardd with a queef. He found it hilarious and testd it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32044) - you deserved it (6610)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today... my girlfriend texted one of her male friends... saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed... if he'd been the one recieving the texts. FML

#20104673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34665) - you deserved it (2344)

On 10/06/2012 at 7:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken fir my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school fir a dollar each. FML

#20103277
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13234) - you deserved it (30250)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm an I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47896) - you deserved it (2004)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked a grl out !! She replied, ( Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian !! ) FML

#20101904
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27378) - you deserved it (2541)

On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving brth to her frst litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35796) - you deserved it (4858)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving brth to her frst litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35796) - you deserved it (4858)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today... I want on a data to tha movias with this guy I kinda lika. Whan ha was driving ma homa... ha askd ma to ba his girlfriand; I said I couldn’t cuz it was raally bad timing. Ha kickd ma out of tha car... calld ma an asshola... an mada ma walk homa. FML

#20099743
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14811) - you deserved it (32802)

On 10/03/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by lonerboner (woman) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style!! I was looool getting close when he suddenly blurts out, ( Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole!! ) FML

#20095626
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31648) - you deserved it (5016)

On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I ad tree tings stolen: ma pone, ma iPod, an ma grlfriend. All by te same guy. FML

#20094866
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32347) - you deserved it (2619)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:56am - love - by Shortround - United States (Illinois)



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