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nessangel4

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nessangel4

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  • Number of visits : 118
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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nessangel4's favorite FMLs

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32994) - you deserved it (3435)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML

#20108635
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19716) - you deserved it (1668)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

#20107225
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34681) - you deserved it (5769)

On 10/08/2012 at 10:07am - intimacy - by bucollegegirl (woman) - United States

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

#20106995
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24568) - you deserved it (5033)

On 10/08/2012 at 3:14am - love - by stoych (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

#20106911
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29574) - you deserved it (3875)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by juliette (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30566) - you deserved it (6420)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

#20104673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34420) - you deserved it (2330)

On 10/06/2012 at 7:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML

#20103277
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12308) - you deserved it (28823)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46816) - you deserved it (1916)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

#20101904
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27152) - you deserved it (2524)

On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34638) - you deserved it (4737)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34638) - you deserved it (4737)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML

#20099743
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14707) - you deserved it (32644)

On 10/03/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by lonerboner (woman) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

#20095626
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30894) - you deserved it (4940)

On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML

#20094866
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30457) - you deserved it (2462)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:56am - love - by Shortround - United States (Illinois)



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