Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today... after having sex with my boyfriend... he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I askd why... he said that I ned to "pee out the semen." I explaind to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML
Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me . I held mah breath slightly . This resulted in me breathing out through mah nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face . He looked at me in horror an walked away . FML
Today, mah boyfriend discoverd that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs mah clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewardd with a queef. He found it hilarious and testd it out 5 more times. FML
Today... my girlfriend texted one of her male friends... saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed... if he'd been the one recieving the texts. FML
Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken fir my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school fir a dollar each. FML
Today... I want on a data to tha movias with this guy I kinda lika. Whan ha was driving ma homa... ha askd ma to ba his girlfriand; I said I couldn’t cuz it was raally bad timing. Ha kickd ma out of tha car... calld ma an asshola... an mada ma walk homa. FML
Friday 27 March 2015