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nessangel4

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nessangel4

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  • Number of visits : 123
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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nessangel4's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

#20129928
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30846) - you deserved it (10047)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, I had a job interview for a job I've been dying to have. As I'm walking into the office, the manager says, "Aren't you my son's ex, the one he cheated on?" All I could do was sit there quietly as he laughed at me. FML

#20129479
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26916) - you deserved it (2030)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:54am - work - by emilyparra1 - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and I asked him to call me something sweet. He called me Honey Boo Boo. FML

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

#20128340
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26281) - you deserved it (4791)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to break up. But not until after our anniversary tomorrow, because he's already gotten dinner reservations for us. FML

#20127937
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22644) - you deserved it (1535)

On 10/22/2012 at 5:01am - love - by reserved - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML

#20127779
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24171) - you deserved it (3387)

On 10/22/2012 at 1:29am - love - by sausagefingers (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

#20127667
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28552) - you deserved it (1495)

On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5881) - you deserved it (50864)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

#20126149
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18556) - you deserved it (5345)

On 10/21/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband sweetly asked me, "You know what I'd really like to do if I had an extra $4,000?" Expecting a romantic answer, I asked what. He said, "I'd get you a tummy tuck." He still can't figure out what he said wrong. FML

#20125706
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21716) - you deserved it (4353)

On 10/20/2012 at 8:22pm - love - by cargaljen (woman) - United States

Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML

#20125076
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10566) - you deserved it (34426)

On 10/20/2012 at 9:57am - intimacy - by MIND BLOWING - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

#20124963
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33285) - you deserved it (2766)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I bought professional hair clippers to shave down below, thinking it would be safer than using a razor. Let's just say the bathroom now looks like a murder scene, and it's going to be a while before I have sex again. FML

#20124733
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25277) - you deserved it (10942)

On 10/20/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML

#20124147
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12197) - you deserved it (27157)

On 10/19/2012 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj)

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30870) - you deserved it (18117)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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