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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I woke up to my husband taking a piss on our bedroom floor. I screamed that he wasn't in the bathroom, to which he responded, "Shut up! I'm taking a piss, let me finish!" He has no recollection of the event. Now I have to clean up his piss and rewash my clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27803) - you deserved it (2713)
On 04/02/2013 at 2:42pm - misc - by MilleeMacabre - United States
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27321) - you deserved it (2962)
On 04/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)
Today, I had to clean up the urine puddle left by one of the regulars who plays the poker slot machines at the bar where I work. Rather than reserve the machine to go to the bathroom, she literally sits in her own piss to mark her territory. This happens about every second day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26966) - you deserved it (1365)
On 04/02/2013 at 9:34am - work - by ak_6694 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29738) - you deserved it (5480)
On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, the McDonald's in my town ran out of fries. I was the one who had to tell all the angry customers we had no more fries in the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29124) - you deserved it (3106)
On 04/02/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37752) - you deserved it (2653)
On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34743) - you deserved it (5492)
On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was telling my aunt that I had achieved my blue belt in karate. Looking at my short hair, she says, "You're going to end up a lesbian." Thanks Aunt L. Love you too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22633) - you deserved it (3100)
On 04/01/2013 at 8:15pm - misc - by colorguard13 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52709) - you deserved it (4235)
On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States
Today, my Jewish boyfriend came over for my extended family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him for being Jewish so badly, that he left, crying. She doesn't see what she did wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31311) - you deserved it (2885)
On 04/01/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by aabadaba (woman) - United States (California)
Today, feeling tired, I snuck one of my wife's pills that she claims gives her super energy. I later found out it was our son's placenta, grounded up and made into capsules. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30048) - you deserved it (9632)
On 04/01/2013 at 12:49am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was denied a job because the guy interviewing me said that I was an illiterate blonde girl who used fake words like "plethora" and "viable". I told him I would leave, after he spelled the word "illiterate". He spelled it wrong and had me escorted from the premises. "Eeletterote" my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40041) - you deserved it (1876)
On 04/01/2013 at 12:44am - work - by Nefi (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25246) - you deserved it (4000) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/31/2013 at 7:35pm - kids - by laptitesouris (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, my mom has forbidden me from drinking skim milk, because my sister is upset that I'm skinnier than her. The same sister who refuses to drink any other milk than 2% chocolate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31379) - you deserved it (2070)
On 03/31/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by jll14 (woman) - Malaysia (Sabah)
Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28102) - you deserved it (4377)
On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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