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nerdtron430

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nerdtron430

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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nerdtron430's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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nerdtron430's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

#21399141
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32330) - you deserved it (4004)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm - kids - by anonymousyo - United States (California)

Today, while going down on my boyfriend, I must have gotten a little too enthusiastic because I ripped my tongue's frenulum. We then awkwardly went into the bathroom. While he was washing the blood off his penis, I was hung over the toilet bowl puking because blood makes me woozy. FML

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46164) - you deserved it (3444)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

#21395729
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29539) - you deserved it (10978)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML

#21395300
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30434) - you deserved it (3791)

On 04/17/2015 at 4:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is not a screamer nor a moaner, she's a biter. My arm is getting stitches right now. FML

#21393183
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32457) - you deserved it (3544)

On 04/13/2015 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, I filled out an online application for a internship. I didn't have all the info I need to complete it, but it wouldn't let me leave anything blank so to move along I filled in crap answers. I pressed "Save". It sent my draft in. I now have to explain that "Jesus" isn't actually my reference. FML

#21392735
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17245) - you deserved it (22998)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:20am - work - by unprofessional - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML

#21392651
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30417) - you deserved it (2673)

On 04/12/2015 at 10:51pm - misc - by mademoiselle meurtre (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

#21392458
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31877) - you deserved it (5796)

On 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my 16 year old daughter convinced her little sister that I am a robot. Now every time I try to talk to her she starts crying. FML

#21392253
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29267) - you deserved it (2346)

On 04/12/2015 at 6:33am - kids - by anon - United States (California)

Today, my roommate's noisiest cat passed away. My previously-silent cat has decided that someone has to fill the void, and has been running around the apartment howling ever since. FML

#21391230
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29125) - you deserved it (3473)

On 04/10/2015 at 11:20am - animals - by Crazy cat lady - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my parents, my aunt and her husband went out to dinner. There, my aunt told us that she was pregnant, and out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

#21387788
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26766) - you deserved it (15813)

On 04/04/2015 at 11:06pm - kids - by TKPhai - United States (California)

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend when we came across the most beautiful piece of Japanese furniture. When I inspected it closely, my boyfriend started laughing. Turns out I was making the same noise I make when I orgasm in reaction to a piece of furniture. FML

#21386402
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27172) - you deserved it (4568)

On 04/02/2015 at 8:20am - misc - by Repethetic (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40641) - you deserved it (2459)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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