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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35183) - you deserved it (2570)
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex; I know that some women are great multitaskers, but I'm guessing it was a bad sign when she started to go over the shopping list. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36051) - you deserved it (6594)
On 04/12/2013 at 1:05am - intimacy - by Fml (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44671) - you deserved it (5214)
On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38837) - you deserved it (4149)
On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40826) - you deserved it (4245)
On 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm - love - by drama king? (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31680) - you deserved it (14868)
On 04/10/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by birdiebeth13 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38490) - you deserved it (5548)
On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States
Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34416) - you deserved it (16709)
On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54774) - you deserved it (7617)
On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33547) - you deserved it (2456)
On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by MickyIsEVIL - Japan (Aichi)
Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30089) - you deserved it (2206)
On 04/09/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by AAMBC4 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37114) - you deserved it (2503)
On 04/08/2013 at 7:16pm - intimacy - by MrKento (man) - Honduras (Francisco Morazan)
Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35403) - you deserved it (1516)
On 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32367) - you deserved it (4367)
Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26022) - you deserved it (1968)
On 04/08/2013 at 10:08am - work - by save the koalas? uhh - Australia (Queensland)
Friday 24 May 2013
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