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nerdtron430

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nerdtron430

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  • Number of visits : 13101
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nerdtron430's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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nerdtron430's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife handed over most of our son's college fund, in cash, to an investment scammer going by the name "Herp A. Derpson". FML

#21453336
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30190) - you deserved it (3498)

On 08/08/2015 at 12:02am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name it that, and she said, "Because he's Speedy." FML

#21453197
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24713) - you deserved it (5242)

On 08/07/2015 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by Gonzales (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I responded to an argument with my girlfriend by only using comebacks she'd used in previous arguments. I'm single now. FML

#21451268
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24220) - you deserved it (10642)

On 08/03/2015 at 10:14am - love - by Cygnus - United States (Iowa)

Today, I wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes. My wife, who didn't want me to get them, decided it would be a good idea to jump on the hood of the car while I was driving off. She hit the car and fell off. My neighbor saw this. Neither her nor the cops believe me when I say I didn't hit her. FML

#21449719
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24579) - you deserved it (4507)

On 07/30/2015 at 10:06pm - misc - by Just wanted a cigarette (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while in a hotel, I left the room to get some ice. Since my parents left the door wedged open, I didn't worry about trying to find the room number. Without thinking, I walked in to another room that was also wedged open. Yes, there were people in it, and yes, they were both naked and hairy. FML

#21448605
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21598) - you deserved it (8654)

On 07/28/2015 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on a fabulous date with a really cute, smart, funny guy. He only mentioned his dad, so when I asked about his mom, I asked if they were divorced. She'd died of breast cancer so I felt awful. Then I asked if his dad had ever remarried. His stepmom had died of cancer too. FML

#21447547
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29937) - you deserved it (2520)

On 07/26/2015 at 2:15pm - love - by lextoast - Rwanda

Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML

#21446728
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13518) - you deserved it (25199)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:59pm - work - by suspended (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32716) - you deserved it (5792)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, whilst vacuuming, I stupidly decided to vacuum the bathroom drain to see what would happen. Turns out it will cause stinking septic water to get sucked into the machine and spew all over the walls, ceiling and vanity. It also causes the vacuum cleaner to stop working. FML

#21445713
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10251) - you deserved it (35778)

On 07/22/2015 at 10:32pm - misc - by sucked_in - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while working security at my job, for the second time, a man with Down's Syndrome entered the store, went to one of the demo computers, opened YouTube, pulled up a video of oiled women wrestling and jerked off. There is no protocol in the handbook for how to deal with this scenario. FML

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML

#21443327
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32614) - you deserved it (5462)

On 07/18/2015 at 1:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa saw one of the paintings in the guest room at my house. "What the fuck?" he snorted, then said whoever painted it should "stick to their damn day job". I painted it. FML

#21443043
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24311) - you deserved it (2475)

On 07/17/2015 at 1:50pm - misc - by is cum a fruit or a vegetable? (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after nearly two months of working at my new job, one of my co-workers finally explained to me that the list of tasks that our boss gives me every day are actually HER duties, and as I complete them, she just sits in her office and watches Netflix. FML

#21441743
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28085) - you deserved it (2149)

On 07/14/2015 at 9:04pm - work - by ineedaraise (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard my ten-year-old brother say, "Are hamburgers a reptile?" FML

#21441553
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23277) - you deserved it (2616)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:59pm - kids - by Andrew - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally got up the courage to quit my first job. I spent hours determining the most professional way; the method, and the wording I would use. In the middle of the phone call, my manager hung up on me. FML



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