Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

neonvortex

Online | Search for a member

neonvortex

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5387
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About neonvortex : been here since 2011. just your average FML addict (with the exception of commenting :p)

neonvortex's page activity

Visits<b>MissEris</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 11:06pm<b>olive_r</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 8:00pm<b>K40RU</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 6:36pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 6:33pm<b>s3kShUn47</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 5:54pm<b>terryaly</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 3:36pm<b>decimater</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:41am<b>jesusalejndr</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 1:20pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 5:11pm<b>Pinkierose05</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 7:00pm<b>lyricalservant</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 4:58am<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 1:36pm<b>skygage</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 4:33am<b>dustydick</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 10:51pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 7:46pm<b>jenkelo</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 5:13pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 7:47pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 10:38pm

Liked!<b>olive_r</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:00am

neonvortex's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of neonvortex's badges

neonvortex's favorite FMLs

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

#21285126
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35159) - you deserved it (7789)

On 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41316) - you deserved it (5026)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32326) - you deserved it (3375)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I received an email from an angry parent, demanding that I give his daughter an A on a project which I had given her a 0 on. The project was to pick an article related to science and to write an essay on it. Hers was a hoax article relating to Ebola patients rising from the dead. FML

#21276337
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34786) - you deserved it (4950)

On 10/12/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss discovered that I'm prone to random fainting, due to hypoglycemia. He has now nicknamed me "fainting goat" and makes relentless bleating noises every time he sees me. FML

#21275948
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30935) - you deserved it (2622)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:04am - work - by thecaptainmorgan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after getting stressed out by my parents having a serious fight for hours, I'm now listening to their make-up sex. FML

#21275167
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39800) - you deserved it (3499)

On 10/10/2014 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by housewiththinwalls - Sweden

Today, I attended an assembly regarding senior graduation. The assistant principal told us to look to the left and right of us, because those people would be our friends for the rest of our lives. I was the only one in the entire row. FML

#21273575
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38978) - you deserved it (3944)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by allergic_to_bull (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my mom that I got into National Honor Society and Beta Club. Most parents are proud but not her. She told me to get a job and that she was tired of my school shit. FML

#21272922
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30869) - you deserved it (2229)

On 10/07/2014 at 5:10pm - misc - by wtfmom - United States (Alabama)

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49062) - you deserved it (4330)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML

#21270609
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36289) - you deserved it (2587)

On 10/04/2014 at 10:58am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought I was finally over my anxiety problem, and confidently went to my first ever job interview. Halfway through, the manager tells me that if I didn't stop being so nervous, he couldn't give me the job. I cried. FML

#21269405
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37233) - you deserved it (4435)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:56am - work - by rejected - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my boyfriend and I were roleplaying therapist and patient in bed. When I playfully asked him what bothered him, he told me his mother hates him and burst into tears. FML

#21269125
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40132) - you deserved it (4850)

On 10/01/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by notatherapist - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my insomnia wins. I'm too wired and awake to sleep, but too stoned on my sleeping pills to get up and do something productive. FML

#21267554
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32145) - you deserved it (4012)

On 09/29/2014 at 8:06am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48133) - you deserved it (3549)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



Caroline Maerten's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #1: Valentine's Day
  • It's a brand new Valentine's day, so here's a brand new blog section. Yep, you read that right, we're using the fact that Valentine's day is vaguely a controversial…

Friday 13 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: