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Offline (the 10/19/2016 at 10:15am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13502
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About neonvortex : been here since 2011. just your average FML addict (with the exception of commenting :p)

neonvortex's page activity

Visits<b>Kiro476</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 11:58am<b>mineller</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 2:32am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 1:47am<b>getoffmyscreen</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 9:35pm<b>Karau</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 4:26pm<b>Neut</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 12:29am<b>missa8604</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 11:25pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 7:00am<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 10:29pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 3:58am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 4:53pm<b>ananicosia</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:35pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 8:50am<b>dirty_dan_</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 6:59pm<b>JMichael</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 11:40pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:42pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 8:23pm<b>Saraj07</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 10:56am

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 4:59am<b>LilMissCanadian</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 11:33pm<b>DogeDogeDoge</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 2:39am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 6:15pm<b>venomXVII</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:25pm<b>olive_r</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:00am

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neonvortex's favorite FMLs

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I had to deal with numerous complaints about an employee washing their genitals in the communal bathroom sink. Nothing in the HR manual prepared me for this. FML

by BlondePsycho / 12/29/2014 at 11:14pm / United States (New York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm / United States (Delaware) / Intimacy

Today, my obsessive stalker of an ex found my girlfriend on Facebook and sent her a message saying just ":)". For some reason I'll never understand, she took this as a sign that I'd just slept with my ex. Now I'm single, and my ex is probably planning her next move. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2014 at 4:03pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I had to drive my husband to hospital after he tried to burn his pubes off with a lighter as part of a bet. On the upside, he probably won't be bugging me for sex for a while. On the downside, I'm married to a moron. FML

by If IQs could be negative... / 12/26/2014 at 2:28pm / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Love

Today, for my Christmas bonus at work, I got a potted plant and some lotion. FML

by whut / 12/23/2014 at 3:58pm / United States / Work

Today, I was yelled at in public for staring at a guy in a wheelchair. I was staring 'cause he was so good looking. FML

by anonymous / 12/23/2014 at 6:28am / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

by Extravirgin / 12/16/2014 at 7:01am / Germany (Bayern) / Intimacy

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

by ashamed / 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, while working in a restaurant, a woman told me I was completely incompetent, was the worst hostess she'd ever seen, and that she would call my district manager non-stop until I was fired. I'd clocked in less than 10 minutes before and hadn't said a single word to her. FML

by christinamarie17 / 12/04/2014 at 1:57am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

by justagirl / 12/02/2014 at 12:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

by blueballed / 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy