Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

neonvortex

Offline (yesterday at 4:23am) | Search for a member

neonvortex

6Fucked!

neonvortexneonvortex
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10960
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About neonvortex : been here since 2011. just your average FML addict (with the exception of commenting :p)

neonvortex's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 4:53pm<b>Stefan5678</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:05pm<b>ananicosia</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:35pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 8:50am<b>dirty_dan_</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 6:59pm<b>JMichael</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 11:40pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 10:59pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:42pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 8:23pm<b>Saraj07</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 10:56am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 12:15am<b>mckenz1eq</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 10:32pm<b>DogeDogeDoge</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:04pm<b>Typicall</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 7:58pm<b>cookimonstur</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 2:56am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 2:34am<b>mj0101</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 11:11pm<b>Fritz_Rfunny1</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 11:09pm

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 4:59am<b>LilMissCanadian</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 11:33pm<b>DogeDogeDoge</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 2:39am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 6:15pm<b>venomXVII</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:25pm<b>olive_r</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:00am

neonvortex's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of neonvortex's badges

neonvortex's favorite FMLs

Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML

#21467226
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32058) - you deserved it (2788)

On 09/11/2015 at 9:50am - misc - by EverettA - United States (Ohio)

Today, in the early hours of the morning, I woke up in sleep paralysis, hallucinating the sight of children hanging from the ceiling. Now I'm scared to sleep. FML

#21466828
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26223) - you deserved it (1737)

On 09/10/2015 at 8:32am - health - by bwoolf96 -

Today, after coming home from a long day at work, I found out that in a house full of 5 adults, some rules still need to be set. The newest addition to the rules: No watching porn and jerking off in the living room. FML

#21466769
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26294) - you deserved it (2052)

On 09/10/2015 at 2:09am - intimacy - by smh - Canada

Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML

#21466231
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20555) - you deserved it (2497)

On 09/08/2015 at 7:03pm - misc - by supersplatoon - United States (California)

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

#21463707
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26917) - you deserved it (4693)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:26am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

#21462259
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29817) - you deserved it (2773)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

#21458908
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10616) - you deserved it (31421)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by notwhatithought (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad because I didn't have the same 'sexy kinks' the girls in porn have. FML

#21456100
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25949) - you deserved it (2388)

On 08/14/2015 at 6:42pm - intimacy - by maybe if i was paid like them i would (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. When I went to change into tight jeans which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled: "It's the mommy show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

#21454009
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24167) - you deserved it (2370)

On 08/09/2015 at 8:37pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. It got hot and intense and we were really into it, until she blurted out, "Oh baby, rub your penis against mine". FML

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32547) - you deserved it (5765)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, I lost out on a job opportunity because the interviewer said my "fake fangs are unprofessional and frankly disturbing". The "fangs" are my real canines, and they have always looked this way. FML

#21446532
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25395) - you deserved it (1584)

On 07/24/2015 at 1:24pm - work - by (-,..,-) (woman) - France

Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML

#21445392
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27190) - you deserved it (3424)

On 07/22/2015 at 7:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34561) - you deserved it (2528)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML

#21439021
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25948) - you deserved it (2200)

On 07/09/2015 at 12:51pm - love - by dollfacee - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: