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neonvortex

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neonvortex

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2763
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About neonvortex : just your average FML addict (with the exception of commenting :p)

neonvortex's page activity

Visits<b>BFons</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 2:33am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 2:27am<b>1two3four5six</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:36am<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:44pm<b>715chiefs</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 6:32pm<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 7:43pm<b>Ichiya</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 6:36pm<b>domclark94</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 12:14pm<b>elly94</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 2:56am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 4:14am<b>inner_peace</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 10:35pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 12:12pm<b>Miku01</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 5:12pm<b>decimater</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 4:44pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:45pm<b>Peck_Kcep</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 6:51pm<b>EnoshimaJunko</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 12:01am<b>Taira_Yuzuki</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 9:35pm

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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neonvortex's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm at that age where sitting down carries a 50/50 chance of turning my balls into scrambled eggs, a fact confirmed yet again today. Third time this week. I think it's time to switch to briefs. FML

#21259403
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23322) - you deserved it (3410)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:20pm - health - by I need a new ballsack. (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29491) - you deserved it (17027)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I had an important oral report to deliver with a partner. Not only did he come in late and high, he pronounced Virginia as "Vagina" the whole way through. FML

#21257414
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34248) - you deserved it (3074)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:36am - misc - by Jamestown of Vagina (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40625) - you deserved it (2672)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33543) - you deserved it (2695)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40051) - you deserved it (11176)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML

#21253639
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34284) - you deserved it (3646)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:11am - misc - by imgonnadie (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

#21253167
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36060) - you deserved it (3536)

On 09/06/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend again told me how he wants to have an open relationship. Of course, this means he can do what he likes with anyone, but if I so much as kiss someone else, I'm a cheating slut. FML

#21252587
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41042) - you deserved it (6001)

On 09/05/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by onlywantuanyway -

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48541) - you deserved it (2459)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31798) - you deserved it (7422)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41086) - you deserved it (3209)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37202) - you deserved it (4992)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)



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