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neonvortex

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neonvortex

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7125
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About neonvortex : been here since 2011. just your average FML addict (with the exception of commenting :p)

neonvortex's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:57am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:40pm<b>p_diddy77</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:47am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:53pm<b>Koizumie</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:22am<b>ohnowhyme123</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:02am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 1:27am<b>FMLworthy5000</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 4:58am<b>tyler_jay</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 11:47pm<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 12:41pm<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 12:06am<b>mosquito19</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 1:55am<b>MissEris</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 11:06pm<b>olive_r</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 8:00pm<b>K40RU</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 6:36pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 6:33pm<b>s3kShUn47</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 5:54pm<b>terryaly</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 3:36pm

Fucked!<b>olive_r</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:00am

neonvortex's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of neonvortex's badges

neonvortex's favorite FMLs

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

#21394468
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25480) - you deserved it (4053)

On 04/16/2015 at 1:04am - intimacy - by Evra (woman) - United States

Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's actually part of the Russian mob. FML

Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonalds but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML

#21393641
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25236) - you deserved it (2022)

On 04/14/2015 at 5:17pm - kids - by Pandistoteles - United States

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is not a screamer nor a moaner, she's a biter. My arm is getting stitches right now. FML

#21393183
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25182) - you deserved it (2559)

On 04/13/2015 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy I met at a bookstore. He stood up and said he was leaving when I said that I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey, because he, "doesn't want to be near a bitch who doesn't know her place". He then told me to give him a ride home. FML

#21392816
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31159) - you deserved it (2700)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:43am - love - by whymanwhy (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, I ran into the woman who hit my car and drove off three days ago. She was my bank teller. I called 911; she pressed the silent alarm. Guess whose story the cops believed. FML

#21392789
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32370) - you deserved it (2244)

On 04/13/2015 at 5:00am - misc - by yupthissucks - United States (Georgia)

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

#21392458
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27282) - you deserved it (4747)

On 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML

#21391926
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28856) - you deserved it (8840)

On 04/11/2015 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

#21391907
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30338) - you deserved it (2363)

On 04/11/2015 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a parent of one of the students I teach called me to complain that I was teaching her child "lies" and "fairytales". I was teaching them about the Holocaust. FML

#21390720
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31627) - you deserved it (1792)

On 04/09/2015 at 3:38pm - work - by PrettySureItsReal - United States (Missouri)

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16391) - you deserved it (30839)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was outside with my two new kittens. A woman came rushing over, saying how glad she was that they were outside. She then started complaining that she had only been able to see them through the windows previously. I have no idea who she is or where she lives. FML

#21389096
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29614) - you deserved it (1995)

On 04/07/2015 at 3:14am - animals - by cat.imakittycat. (woman) - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML

#21387066
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26785) - you deserved it (2006)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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