Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

neonberries

Offline (the 10/24/2014 at 9:31am) | Search for a member

neonberries

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1693
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

neonberries's page activity

Visits<b>elbrowntown21</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 11:12pm<b>CinemaFreak</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 7:47am<b>Insanityconfined</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 4:53am<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 4:46am<b>chargers2588</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 1:40pm<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 10:36pm<b>endlessoptions78</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 11:37pm<b>ChewyODU</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 1:30pm<b>mattdwyer</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 1:15am<b>awkwardlysmiles</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 12:22am<b>dancinwookie</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:50pm<b>sara_rose7</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:40pm<b>AestheticGuy</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:34pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 9:23pm<b>tacocatishere</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 8:13pm<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 7:59pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 7:57pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 7:25pm

neonberries's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of neonberries's badges

neonberries's favorite FMLs

TODAY,HILE BAGGING MY GROCERIES AT A STORE, A LADY CAME OVER TO ME, TOOK A GOOD LOOK AT THE FOOD I'D BOUGHT, PICKED OUT AN ITEM AN PUTTED IT IN HER BAG. WHEN I CONFRONTED HER, SHE CALLED SECURITY ON ME AN TOLD THEM I WANTED TO STEAL HER STUFF. I GOT THROWN OUT AN SHE WALKED AWAY WITH A SMRK. FML

#20736762
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49716) - you deserved it (3221)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:35am - money - by what_the_hell (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, mah brother got one of those water-vapour cigarettes. I was playing around with it, and mah nieghbour saw me through the window. She came over to yell at mah parents about mah "addiction" to marijuana. When mah parents told her to get lost, she called the cops and tried to get me arrested. real FML

Yesterday, boyfriend of 2 month got upset and frustrated with me because he had yet to meet mom. I'd told him on our first date that she passed away 4 years ago. mega FML

#20736145
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50772) - you deserved it (3246)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today , I caugt ma 16-year-old daugter and er boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom . FML

#20735858
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54034) - you deserved it (8478)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay fir his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happen to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

#20735377
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49604) - you deserved it (3673)

On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States

Taday I won an argument against a sexist co-worker. When I left later on , I jumped into mah car to drive home , but managed to reverse it into a parked excavator. Guessho's going to hear virginal jokes about women drivers from now on. FML

#20735108
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33202) - you deserved it (16239)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:18pm - work - by fuck the man-dominated construction business (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his finger playing with Play-Doh . FML

#20735100
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47198) - you deserved it (4792)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my frst date. FML

#20734991
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55932) - you deserved it (4126)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:39am - misc - by Overprotected (woman) - United States

Today, I triad to axplain to my cat why I was singla, but than I raalizad why.

#20733893
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43042) - you deserved it (20448)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today , mah daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying 4 her chemistry final. FML

#20733887
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43304) - you deserved it (6642)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

I witnessd an elderly lady getting muggd!! I ran over to the guy mugging her an offerd him the money in my wallet in return 4 him leaving her alone!! The old lady snatchd my money an ran away with the mugger!! What the hell just happend? FML

#20733745
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54670) - you deserved it (8966)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm - money - by No money, mo' problems - United States

Today I was planning on having sex with mah girlfriend 4 the first time so I asked mah roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through mah roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58592) - you deserved it (8206)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Taday mah husband was in our newborn's room , holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor , because I overhered him say , "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58528) - you deserved it (4183)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

I was packing up mah stuff about to go home. I shut off mah MacBook but was still pretending to work 4 the last few minutes, typing on the keyboard. A good way through, I realizd mah co-worker sitting across from me could see that the Apple logo was off. mega FML

#20732510
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16390) - you deserved it (42426)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:55pm - work - by awk1 - United States (Georgia)

I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29 , my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
440 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59441) - you deserved it (37108)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: