Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

neonberries

Offline (the 10/24/2014 at 9:31am) | Search for a member

neonberries

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2105
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

neonberries's page activity

Visits<b>elbrowntown21</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 11:12pm<b>CinemaFreak</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 7:47am<b>Insanityconfined</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 4:53am<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 4:46am<b>chargers2588</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 1:40pm<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 10:36pm<b>endlessoptions78</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 11:37pm<b>ChewyODU</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 1:30pm<b>mattdwyer</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 1:15am<b>awkwardlysmiles</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 12:22am<b>dancinwookie</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:50pm<b>sara_rose7</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:40pm<b>AestheticGuy</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:34pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 9:23pm<b>tacocatishere</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 8:13pm<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 7:59pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 7:57pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 7:25pm

neonberries's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of neonberries's badges

neonberries's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me. FML

#20752113
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57531) - you deserved it (3891)

On 06/28/2013 at 8:23am - love - by confusedandnowsingle (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

#20749746
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38601) - you deserved it (3632)

On 06/27/2013 at 2:22am - work - by confusedbagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML

#20745749
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26128) - you deserved it (40597)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

#20745688
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50532) - you deserved it (13884)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by dan (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML

#20745284
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60557) - you deserved it (4156)

On 06/24/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by Creepedout - United States (Florida)

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

#20744996
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31390) - you deserved it (5841)

On 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by thanksdoc (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

#20743211
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53803) - you deserved it (7882)

On 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm - kids - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

#20742274
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58937) - you deserved it (22974)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML

#20740399
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29799) - you deserved it (46922)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25936) - you deserved it (65182) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69257) - you deserved it (6585)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I lost my car keys, so I asked my ex-husband if he still had his spare to my car. He said he'd send it. I got an empty envelope with a troll face on it. There's a reason I left him. FML

#20738006
121 comments

Today, I tried explaining to my mom how liking her own posts on Facebook wasn't very cool. I later logged in to see she'd added all my friends and posted naked baby pictures of me, captioning them, "Now I don't have to like my own posts." FML

Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML

#20737057
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39945) - you deserved it (2635)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by whoriblemomindeed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I left hospital after a three-night stay. Whilst waiting for my taxi to arrive, my mother called me in hysterics wanting to know where I was, because the police had called her and told her I had gone missing. Turns out my doctor "forgot" to tell anyone that I was discharged. FML



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: