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neonberries

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neonberries
  • Town/Country : London, UK
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 757
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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neonberries's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying, "I'm not ready for a serious relationship." We're supposed to get married in a month. FML

#20802342
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51022) - you deserved it (2676)

On 07/25/2013 at 1:47am - love - by anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML

#20801861
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39338) - you deserved it (7203)

On 07/24/2013 at 9:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I watched one of my neighbor's trees fall into the electrical lines outside my house. This was after he took a chainsaw to the tree. He refuses to cover the damages. FML

#20801131
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40825) - you deserved it (2367)

On 07/24/2013 at 12:44pm - money - by trees - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML

#20801095
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20091) - you deserved it (42946)

On 07/24/2013 at 12:05pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after our grandmother's memorial service, my 9-year-old sister took it upon herself to solemnly inform the priest in front of everyone in attendance that, "You lied. Jesus isn't here." FML

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's boss. She was wondering if he was okay, since he hasn't shown up to work for the past two weeks. Now I'm wondering where he's been going when he leaves the house each day. FML

#20799589
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56686) - you deserved it (3719)

On 07/23/2013 at 3:03pm - love - by Hesintrouble (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I'm expected to buy a bassinet and/or a stroller/car-seat for my nephew because my brother trusted the pullout method for contraception. FML

#20785515
150 comments

Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML

#20784658
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40810) - you deserved it (3546)

On 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by lame-o-prof (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

#20784153
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46117) - you deserved it (2815)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by leeceetaylor99 - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out why my girlfriend has lost interest in our relationship. She's found out she likes drinking. A lot. FML

#20783573
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37139) - you deserved it (3256)

On 07/15/2013 at 2:15am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had an allergy test. Not only was I allergic to 35 out of the 40 items, they also found out that I'm allergic to the latex gloves my doctor happened to be wearing. Now my entire back is covered in a rash that will last at least another week. FML

#20783362
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45153) - you deserved it (2667)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

#20782878
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33274) - you deserved it (4278)

On 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my water broke. I called my mom, who had agreed to watch my other two kids while I went to the hospital. When I asked her to come over, she just said, "Sorry, now isn't a good time." FML

#20781242
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45484) - you deserved it (3096)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Upset Mommy - United States

Today, some guys were doing construction on my house, when one of them came over and started asking me about my "hot sister". That "sister" is my 13-year-old daughter. FML

#20781189
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46285) - you deserved it (3390)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my kids. It was fun, and led to some mock fights. My neighbor, who despises me for being a single mother, used it as an excuse to call the cops on me for "abusing" my kids. They were too confused to do anything but nod at the officer's accusing questions. FML

#20779851
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47655) - you deserved it (2990)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Puerto Rico



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