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Today, my boyfriend came home, chugged a beer, and passed out in our bed without saying hello or goodnight to me. I've been on vacation for a week and was hoping to cuddle. But no, if I try to touch him, he hits me and growls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23029) - you deserved it (4670)
On 11/29/2011 at 3:00am - love - by LadyDean - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27752) - you deserved it (4476)
On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26726) - you deserved it (3215)
On 11/14/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40005) - you deserved it (3998)
On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)
Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36672) - you deserved it (2609)
On 10/17/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by pokeballbra - United States (Texas)
Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23291) - you deserved it (2551)
On 10/14/2011 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14136) - you deserved it (35918)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by happybudiess - United States
Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26899) - you deserved it (4029)
On 10/03/2011 at 12:26am - kids - by Ramis182 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend cheated on me. But he justified it by saying she was a ginger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25056) - you deserved it (3000)
On 09/13/2011 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23448) - you deserved it (10127)
On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19706) - you deserved it (2527)
On 09/05/2011 at 7:14pm - love - by rplovez (woman) - Canada
Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12555) - you deserved it (38897)
On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, my identical twin sister got in trouble for sneaking out of the house to see her boyfriend. My father decided to ground both of us, because it would be "too confusing" for him otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51336) - you deserved it (3593)
On 05/05/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Monika (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30253) - you deserved it (49769)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19215) - you deserved it (3029)
On 11/07/2010 at 3:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Monday 20 May 2013
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