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Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34270) - you deserved it (4316)
On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36536) - you deserved it (7452)
On 06/17/2013 at 1:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27041) - you deserved it (3688)
On 06/17/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Idontbelieveinmagic (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29393) - you deserved it (2228)
On 06/16/2013 at 7:58pm - kids - by Married2handsome - United States (Florida)
Today, I left for a one and a half month trip to Japan with my boyfriend. He promptly broke up with me the first night in the hotel. When asked why he couldn't have waited until the trip was over, he said he didn't want to create "false memories". FML
I agree, your life sucks (31122) - you deserved it (2055)
On 06/16/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by VacationRuined (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)
Today, my boyfriend and I talked about our past relationships. He said he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was "too smart" for him, and that he felt better being with someone who "doesn't have too many lights on upstairs, if you know what I mean." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37946) - you deserved it (4345)
On 06/16/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by ... (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)
Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49219) - you deserved it (2898)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:28am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38786) - you deserved it (16027)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33621) - you deserved it (3494)
On 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm - kids - by I fathered a pussy. (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boss threatened to fire me for showing up at work early. His reasoning is that it looks bad when his workers show up before dawn and work later than he does. He assigned me these hours specifically to accommodate one of our clients. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35317) - you deserved it (2241)
On 06/14/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by wtfwhyfml (woman) - United States
Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47943) - you deserved it (3160)
On 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57800) - you deserved it (5690)
On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33917) - you deserved it (21366)
On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up early to travel to the office headquarters 3.5 hours away for important meetings. After waking up at 5.30am, picking up all my colleagues and driving 40 min out of town, I realised I was wearing my woolen house slippers. They were the only pair of shoes I'd brought on the trip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34863) - you deserved it (7554)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:04am - work - by vanity113 - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, whilst trying on wedding dresses with my mom, she told me that I looked fat and awful in the dress I liked. When I told her how hurtful she was being, she told me that I should be grateful that she told me what she thought instead of laughing at me behind my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37443) - you deserved it (5809)
On 06/12/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by mysea8679 (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)
Monday 17 June 2013
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