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nenadovichm

Offline (the 08/19/2014 at 6:07pm) | Search for a member

nenadovichm

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  • Number of visits : 77
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nenadovichm's FML badges

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nenadovichm's favorite FMLs

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51926) - you deserved it (19002)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

#21130490
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41249) - you deserved it (10494)

On 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm - health - by Numbass123 (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I hurt my back, and now I have to lie on my stomach for twenty minutes every hour so I can ice the pain. My boyfriend won't stop using my ass as bongo drums every time. FML

#21127987
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40113) - you deserved it (6974)

On 05/01/2014 at 1:31pm - misc - by booty backfire - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

#21024175
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45905) - you deserved it (5186)

On 01/11/2014 at 12:55am - love - by rollergirl13 - United States (Alaska)

Today, I introduced my dad, who is a surgeon, to the TV show House. I thought it'd be a good bonding experience. How wrong I was. He spent the whole time yelling about the "insane" medical inaccuracies, then lectured me about my crappy taste in TV. FML

#21011680
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34400) - you deserved it (9098)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML

#21006441
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38454) - you deserved it (3944)

On 12/26/2013 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by NNTA (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

#20962468
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42103) - you deserved it (5720)

On 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm - animals - by Catcrap! - United States (California)

Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML

#20901891
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47299) - you deserved it (4914)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He told me he was a dinosaur. FML

#20883504
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42134) - you deserved it (5369)

On 09/16/2013 at 7:09am - love - by Kit (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

#20840638
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36027) - you deserved it (5508)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:33pm - misc - by that's methed up, darling (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend insisted that I start calling him "Professor Fucktard" in the bedroom. He seems to be dead serious about it. FML

#20777932
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41746) - you deserved it (5326)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by O_O (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend decided to let me know that she almost left me for another guy not so long ago, because he was more handsome and talented than me. The reason she didn't leave: "He's out of my league; you're not." FML

#20777616
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48530) - you deserved it (3958)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML

#20647074
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58853) - you deserved it (4597)

On 05/07/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by the girl next door (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

#20632729
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57148) - you deserved it (14977)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

#20584796
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38282) - you deserved it (18132)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States



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