Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nchov523

Search for a member

nchov523
  • Town/Country : pixburgh, usa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 738
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About nchov523 : I hate when people put something about "oh you're a stalker" in their bios. You're not clever.

I also can't stand when people end a statement or a suggestion with a question mark, such as "Get a new job???"

Besides that, meh.

nchov523's last visitors

erinblackkdman255parism143mander2124HorsempegGunnieTulipCatedvin

nchov523's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of nchov523's badges

nchov523's favorite FMLs

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26640) - you deserved it (7723)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML

#19984969
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23666) - you deserved it (2100)

On 07/26/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

#19967014
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18678) - you deserved it (3131)

On 07/21/2012 at 4:00am - kids - by It was the 11 year old - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML

#19950905
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22118) - you deserved it (3121)

On 07/17/2012 at 5:11pm - love - by Alliente - United States

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

#19942597
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38282) - you deserved it (1747)

On 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30683) - you deserved it (3891)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to trim my dog's nails. After about a half hour of barking, biting, and general freaking out, I gave up and decided to pay someone else to do it. I'm a vet, and do this for a living. FML

#19923772
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19261) - you deserved it (5310)

On 07/11/2012 at 1:54pm - animals - by cutup (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML

#19918441
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6323) - you deserved it (25342)

On 07/10/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by mustanggt (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

#19911168
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52319) - you deserved it (2240)

On 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm - love - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML

#19889661
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10813) - you deserved it (24868)

On 07/04/2012 at 5:04am - health - by magicman - United States

Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML

#19887405
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10316) - you deserved it (32062)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Jenna (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML

#19884595
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24822) - you deserved it (1963)

On 07/03/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by spiderfail - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25811) - you deserved it (3485)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29688) - you deserved it (1161)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

#19853793
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5747) - you deserved it (22908)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: