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natheitz's favorite FMLs
by Emmereen / 08/22/2016 at 10:21pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, the laziest person in my department came and complained to me, while I was working, that they didn't know why we were so far behind today. Then they went to chat to their friend for 45 minutes. I know why. FML
by hamburglar / 08/11/2016 at 2:46pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, my untrained legs have been traumatised by the sudden regime of squats, mountain climbers and lunges I have been putting them through. I literally just have to trust-fall back onto the toilet and hope for the best, because my legs don't have the strength to support the gradual descent. FML
by SkipLegDay / 08/03/2016 at 4:48am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Health
Today, on a girls night out at a very fancy restaurant, our waiter spilled my chocolate dessert over my new white pants. To repay up, they gave us a free bottle of red wine, which he promptly coated me in. FML
by Hutchie931 / 07/30/2016 at 7:24pm / United Kingdom (Dudley) / Miscellaneous
by Yocherrypicker / 07/28/2016 at 9:04pm / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend and I were brushing our teeth, standing side by side. We both have a sympathy gag reflex. He brushed his tongue and gagged, which caused me to gag. So we had a never ending gag-fest until we both began throwing up and couldn't stop until one of us could manage to hold it in. FML
by StateOfEuphoria / 07/24/2016 at 6:52pm / United States (Mississippi) / Health
Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML
by unemployed / 07/11/2016 at 3:09pm / United States (California) / Work
by Jioune / 07/05/2016 at 5:56pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love
by drpepperking10 / 07/02/2016 at 7:27pm / United States / Love
Today, while updating my résumé, I noticed that in my list of achievements it said "Torturing middle school students". I meant "tutoring", but I guess this explains why I'm still unemployed a year after I started looking for a job. FML
by fuckel4 / 07/01/2016 at 4:12pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/01/2016 at 12:23pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Kids
by Catnip / 06/30/2016 at 7:42pm / Germany (Hessen) / Love