Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

natheitz

Search for a member

natheitz

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1944
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About natheitz : Hi

natheitz's page activity

Visits<b>schmuckjon79</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 7:04am<b>Chokobolt</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 4:15am<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 12:13pm<b>Dekat121</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 3:40pm<b>grizzlybear26</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 11:43am<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 4:58pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 3:29pm<b>DeadxTime</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 7:12am<b>edvin</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 1:24am<b>Rcmpbell</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 1:31pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 6:43pm<b>sxm</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 1:55pm<b>jsteele64</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 12:37am<b>nwaku</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 11:24pm<b>wunderbar1</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 11:49pm<b>Ghostreconss</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 6:35pm<b>ashtic</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 6:09pm<b>MelaniePalmer</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 3:21pm

natheitz's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of natheitz's badges

natheitz's favorite FMLs

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

#21219507
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36117) - you deserved it (14773)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38858) - you deserved it (19860)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43571) - you deserved it (11221)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33522) - you deserved it (10992)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to drop off my library book. I thought I'd dropped in into the library book drop, but I'd accidentally put it in the post office mail box. To get the book back, I had to explain this incident five times to three librarians, a mailman, and my sister who called me ridiculous. FML

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

#21211315
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38949) - you deserved it (4051)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, I went to fill out my time sheet. Someone had edited it, and now it suddenly ends August 22nd. I think I'm getting fired. FML

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

#21209203
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38721) - you deserved it (5609)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:48pm - love - by KaiyaOtaku1 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML

#21209155
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35742) - you deserved it (4484)

On 07/14/2014 at 6:48pm - animals - by Hiimhaileypotter (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I was informed by a laughing friend, that my phone must be taking and uploading photos to Google+. Among numerous black shots, there is a particularly nice one of me while I'm sitting on the toilet. FML

#21208679
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34696) - you deserved it (5242)

On 07/14/2014 at 5:31am - misc - by photoman (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML

#21207995
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53180) - you deserved it (4378)

On 07/13/2014 at 2:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39930) - you deserved it (5773)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss called me to inform me that I'm being laid off. In my ensuing fit of rage, I deleted the recent project I've been working on for weeks. Pretty soon after, he called me back to let me know it was a prank. FML

#21207207
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43059) - you deserved it (14946)

On 07/12/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by Workhorse - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: