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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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natepyron

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natepyron
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 522
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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natepyron's favorite FMLs

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

#13572879 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (9552) - you deserved it (29603)

On 10/24/2010 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (22871) - you deserved it (6679)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495 (282)

I agree, your life sucks (32429) - you deserved it (8888)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

#9161234 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (25231) - you deserved it (2565)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML

#9129175 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (25853) - you deserved it (2019)

On 03/16/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by please_no (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML

#9068483 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (7535) - you deserved it (12576)

On 03/14/2010 at 6:50am - misc - by Hatty (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML

#9037500 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (18194) - you deserved it (2401)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by nerdygirl101 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my new neighbours came over to introduce themselves. I open the door to see my ex-husband, with a horrified look on his face, and his girlfriend. FML

#9029119 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (22653) - you deserved it (1173)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:08pm - love - by abby0019 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was sitting on the train and the guy across from me had "Lice Shampoo" written in magic marker on his hand. FML

#8962558 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (13677) - you deserved it (1563)

On 03/10/2010 at 12:07am - health - by onlychick (woman) - United States

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (14139) - you deserved it (1491)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (38447) - you deserved it (5695)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

#6480683 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (6007) - you deserved it (30978)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML

#6441636 (65)

I agree, your life sucks (21883) - you deserved it (1187)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by CT (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

#6210144 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (58525) - you deserved it (4093)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

#4299619 (301)

I agree, your life sucks (33484) - you deserved it (56075)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)