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natc771

Offline (the 08/19/2014 at 4:25am) | Search for a member

natc771

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natc771's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

#483851
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (135482) - you deserved it (13391)

On 03/20/2009 at 2:11am - intimacy - by firsttimer69 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML

#483516
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33578) - you deserved it (134858)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML

#377584
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41065) - you deserved it (185667)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:02pm - misc - by natty (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (652981) - you deserved it (439412)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (475488) - you deserved it (45846)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and I over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

#172507
477 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111101) - you deserved it (262380)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
954 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73024) - you deserved it (422639)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

#29912
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (162225) - you deserved it (47412)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML

#5470
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42087) - you deserved it (346035)

On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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