About nash1991 : 3rd year Medical school student. I'm sarcasm personified. Love my S5. R1 got stolen... RIP :(
nash1991's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
nash1991's favorite FMLs
Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML
by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by iphonerevolution / 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm / South Africa / Kids
Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML
by TheKingKen / 07/01/2014 at 8:33pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML
by Anonymous / 07/01/2014 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by whoops / 06/29/2014 at 4:37pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML
by the lannisters send their retards / 06/17/2014 at 4:30pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML
by BekkyLove15 / 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Kids
Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML
by Anonymous / 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
by BetterThanChocolate / 04/20/2014 at 7:24pm / United States (Maryland) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/30/2014 at 6:04am / United Kingdom (Havering) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML
by Treats For Days / 07/19/2013 at 9:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by The fuck, junior? / 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
Today, a group of friends and I went out to a fancy club together. The doorman checked us out and let everyone in. Everyone except me, that is. The doorman's reason: "Her face looks like a baboon's arse." My "friends" all went in anyway, leaving me to walk all the way home. FML
by arse-face / 06/28/2013 at 7:22pm / Ireland (Clare) / Miscellaneous
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to…