About nash1991 : 3rd year Medical school student. I'm sarcasm personified. Love my S5. R1 got stolen... RIP :(
nash1991's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
nash1991's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML
by Anonymous / 01/03/2016 at 9:01am / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/03/2016 at 4:41am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 1:23pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I accidentally edged over the speed limit and got pulled over. The officer asked me if I knew why he'd pulled me over. Before I could say something diplomatic, my dad said from the passenger seat: "Because you're a prick in fancy dress?" I got ticketed. FML
by buttfingers / 12/26/2015 at 12:37pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, my brother "pranked" me by dropping my new laptop out my bedroom window. He'd set up a saran wrap safety net below to catch my laptop safely, but he didn't secure it well enough. My laptop is completely fucked and he won't accept responsibility because he didn't mean to break it. FML
by probably on death row soon / 12/25/2015 at 1:32pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/25/2015 at 12:08pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2015 at 6:47pm / Australia (South Australia) / Love
Today, I made a typo in a line of code, bringing the company website down. Our admin was already pissed about having to work over Christmas, and he started yelling at me and ended up punching my supervisor when he got between us. Pretty sure my screw up indirectly got the poor guy fired. FML
Today, I was taking my grandma shopping, when she pointed at a pair of thongs and told me if I don’t start wearing them I won’t get a man. I've been married for 4 years, gran. Thanks for paying attention. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2015 at 4:38pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had been stress-eating a lot of junk food during finals week at college. I was feeling worried about my figure, and lifted up my shirt to see myself in the mirror. My boyfriend, who I didn't know was watching, promptly said, "Whoa babe, it looks like the condom broke!" FML
by pregnantapparently / 12/10/2015 at 1:45pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by shitlicker / 12/07/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 9:43am / United States (Texas) / Love
by 4lphab3t4 / 11/12/2015 at 8:11pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
Today, I set my car's speed to 125km/h to pass the speed camera announced by a road sign. Sure of myself, for a laugh I flipped the bird as I went by. When the flash went off, I realised that the speed limit was 110 km/h, not the usual 130 km/h. FML
by yvon la moto / 11/06/2015 at 5:26am / Spain (Madrid) / Transportation
Today, after days of cleaning out pantry cabinets and throwing away infested food, I thought I had finally gotten rid of my moth problem. Then I vacuumed, and saw several dozen larvae coming out of my carpet. FML
by mottephobe / 11/06/2015 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous