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nasazile

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nasazile

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Visits<b>mikester10723</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 10:37am<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 1:13pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:44am<b>woah_there04</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 6:43pm<b>HyperFUSE</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 7:44pm

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nasazile's favorite FMLs

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29533) - you deserved it (3520)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML

#21312253
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34101) - you deserved it (2468)

On 12/05/2014 at 10:35pm - love - by Michelle - United States (Maryland)

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40925) - you deserved it (2732)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend brought me to a restaurant on a surprise date. I guess he didn't know that my ex-boyfriend now works there, and that he would be our waiter for the evening. FML

#21311019
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30385) - you deserved it (2805)

On 12/03/2014 at 9:49pm - love - by maddieex - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

#21308242
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33063) - you deserved it (2986)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

#21308219
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34882) - you deserved it (5756)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm - intimacy - by blueballed (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

#21293465
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33352) - you deserved it (6449)

On 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm - love - by notsofriendly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36330) - you deserved it (2415)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML

#21289931
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33803) - you deserved it (2810)

On 11/01/2014 at 6:22pm - kids - by ThaBoss12 - United States (California)

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML

#21287428
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31390) - you deserved it (7800)

On 10/29/2014 at 12:55am - work - by shadysheikh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32235) - you deserved it (3363)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35739) - you deserved it (3651)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

#21264426
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (344) - you deserved it (2687)

On 09/24/2014 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML



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