nasazile

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nasazile

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1738
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nasazile's page activity

Visits<b>liquifiednate</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 1:59am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:09pm<b>mikester10723</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 10:37am<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 1:13pm<b>woah_there04</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 6:43pm<b>HyperFUSE</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 7:44pm

nasazile's FML badges

The Mixer

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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nasazile's favorite FMLs

Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 11:35am / United States (Kansas) / Kids

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

by bubblewrap / 10/20/2015 at 6:13am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

by Hey_Buddy_ / 06/10/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

Today, my apparently insane and now ex-girlfriend actually claimed she didn't technically cheat on me, because she set her Facebook relationship to "single" before screwing my brother. FML

by waiting till marriage, she said / 06/10/2015 at 11:28am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was sick, and my voice was really low and raspy. A cute guy smiled at me and said hi, so I said hi too. He looked shocked and said, "Sorry bro, thought you were a girl." I am. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2015 at 8:21am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Love

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2015 at 3:03am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out the hard way that blood-filled deer ticks can look a lot like black jelly beans. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2015 at 10:12am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed our weekly biohazardous waste pickup didn't occur as usual at the surgery center where I work. After calling, the company informed me they were short staffed and couldn't make it out 'til next week. Guess that amputated finger is just going to marinate another week. FML

by besosforme / 02/20/2015 at 11:17pm / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was to slowly clap at the news then giggle at his own joke. FML

by annoyed / 01/22/2015 at 3:23pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

by Lisa / 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML

by Michelle / 12/05/2014 at 10:35pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend brought me to a restaurant on a surprise date. I guess he didn't know that my ex-boyfriend now works there, and that he would be our waiter for the evening. FML

by maddieex / 12/03/2014 at 9:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Love