About narutofan001 : All you need to know about me is that there is nothing to know.
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Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14783) - you deserved it (69241)
On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34348) - you deserved it (2747)
On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35617) - you deserved it (22850)
On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88759) - you deserved it (4719) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42545) - you deserved it (33104)
On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (2073)
On 01/11/2011 at 1:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after months of dieting, I finally reached my goal weight. Excitedly I told my boyfriend, who gave me a beautiful dress as an early Christmas present. It was a size too small. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21756) - you deserved it (4229)
On 12/12/2010 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15740) - you deserved it (5037)
On 11/12/2010 at 7:24pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get too excited, I want to watch The Princess and the Frog tonight." I just got cockblocked by a Disney movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27176) - you deserved it (5037)
On 11/12/2010 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by roberto (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)
Today, as a physics teacher, I was testing a class to see how high a sound frequency they could hear. One girl claimed she could hear the sound even though it was physically impossible. Without thinking, I replied "Only dogs can hear this frequency." Needless to say, she was picked on all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20869) - you deserved it (9066)
On 10/29/2010 at 8:17am - kids - by mrtut (man) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)
Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16384) - you deserved it (3465)
On 10/13/2010 at 8:57am - misc - by deadinavan (woman) - Germany (Bayern)
Today, after years of thinking I was weird for never being attracted to anyone, I realized that for the first time in my life I actually have a crush on someone. That 'someone' is my English teacher. He is 60. I am 18. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21965) - you deserved it (9076)
On 03/16/2010 at 6:27am - misc - by allwrong (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18377) - you deserved it (7816)
On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16164) - you deserved it (2288)
On 03/10/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by misty_love (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14457) - you deserved it (2351)
On 02/21/2010 at 3:19am - intimacy - by horny21 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Friday 24 May 2013
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