About narutofan001 : All you need to know about me is that there is nothing to know.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15082) - you deserved it (8035)
On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland
Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19359) - you deserved it (2152)
On 03/14/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by S. Michaels (man) - United States
Today, I was given a bottle of vitamins that are supposed to help your memory. I forgot them at home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16856) - you deserved it (2783)
On 03/09/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10579) - you deserved it (35206)
On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14641) - you deserved it (4186)
On 03/08/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by thatchick3333 - United States (California)
Today, I was at a meeting. One of the other members decided to share that their cat had passed away recently. I got an uncontrollable nervous laugh, started crying because I was laughing so hard, and left the room while everyone watched in horror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8789) - you deserved it (12361)
On 03/08/2012 at 12:47am - work - by Honey Badger (woman) - United States
Today, I was debating if I actually do talk to myself. I was having this conversation with myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13340) - you deserved it (4608)
On 03/07/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Kayla_Zee_Ninja - United States
Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horse-shit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20590) - you deserved it (6981)
On 03/05/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Alfie4 (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on in a water park changing stall. A woman and a security guard barged in and angrily told us that there were children around. We were escorted out of the park wearing nothing but our swimsuits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5088) - you deserved it (54890)
On 03/05/2012 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (121) - you deserved it (2726)
On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom
Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44968) - you deserved it (2321)
On 02/02/2012 at 1:00pm - love - by kingpig (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, at school, I was crying because someone I knew had died. My teacher pulled me aside and said, "I understand you're socially awkward, but don't worry it gets better." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27542) - you deserved it (1797)
On 01/26/2012 at 6:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I went with my friend door-to-door selling chocolates. We went to the first house, and the guy decided to buy a chocolate from each of us. He didn't have change and neither did we, so he just took the chocolates and slammed the door in our face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16405) - you deserved it (4603)
On 12/18/2011 at 8:52pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7078) - you deserved it (29333)
On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21287) - you deserved it (2431)
On 12/01/2011 at 12:41am - misc - by AmericanDream (woman) - United States (Florida)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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