About narutofan001 : All you need to know about me is that there is nothing to know.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22601) - you deserved it (3148)
On 03/08/2013 at 7:38pm - misc - by fuck you, gran (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I sat through an incredibly long and tedious class lecture. Just as my professor was nearing the end of his lecture, the resident stoner loudly yawned and asked what we'd been talking about for the past hour. We got to hear most of the lecture all over again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21619) - you deserved it (1248)
On 03/08/2013 at 12:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)
Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28125) - you deserved it (2159)
On 03/08/2013 at 6:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my college started an internet "confessions" page. Out of curiosity I checked it out, only to find that it's full of some of the most disturbing stuff I've ever read. My schoolmates are either filthy as fuck or they are all pathological liars. Wonderful. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23572) - you deserved it (2492)
On 02/27/2013 at 2:17am - intimacy - by panicelement (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out and threatened to get a restraining order after I called him an asshole. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and over 1,000 miles away from my parents' house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30425) - you deserved it (6362)
On 02/23/2013 at 8:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, the company I was fired from three years ago merged with the company I work at now. The new owners' first order of business was to fire me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35984) - you deserved it (1823) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/15/2013 at 8:37pm - work - by Nico - Sent from mobile version
Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27506) - you deserved it (3131)
On 02/15/2013 at 12:53am - health - by youmindyourownbusiness - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19353) - you deserved it (7468)
On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9508) - you deserved it (37757)
On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25580) - you deserved it (1683)
On 02/13/2013 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (North Ayrshire)
Today, working as a waitress, I was asked by a customer, yet again, how my baby was doing. I don't have a baby, but I do look very similar to my 25-year-old coworker, who's a new mom. People confuse us all the time. Unfortunately, my crush, who was standing nearby, doesn't know that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23032) - you deserved it (1907)
On 02/13/2013 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29495) - you deserved it (3942)
On 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm - misc - by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25565) - you deserved it (1663)
On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28092) - you deserved it (4930)
On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born and only took one of the two tests. I haven't cheated. He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checked again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27772) - you deserved it (2131)
On 02/10/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by Totallyscrewed - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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