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About narutofan001 : All you need to know about me is that there is nothing to know.
Up and coming moderator
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Beginner
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14447) - you deserved it (795)
On 02/02/2012 at 1:00pm - love - by kingpig (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8458) - you deserved it (937)
On 12/01/2011 at 12:41am - misc - by AmericanDream (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad in her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18216) - you deserved it (1325)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my professor snapped and told me that I know nothing, that everything I've ever learned is wrong, and that all of my former teachers should be shot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20296) - you deserved it (3137)
On 09/22/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by failure (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14851) - you deserved it (3198)
On 10/13/2010 at 8:57am - misc - by deadinavan (woman) - Germany (Bayern)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39018) - you deserved it (2590)
On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, at 3:00 am, I sat with my 3 year-old adopted daughter while she tried to go back to sleep. She had had a nightmare, and I read that "not leaving" was the most important thing a father could do. My wife woke and called me a pervert for sitting there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51158) - you deserved it (1813)
On 07/15/2009 at 4:02am - kids - by me (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were chatting on MSN. He had to go run down to the corner market but left his webcam on. Shortly after he left I watched his mother steal 60 dollars out of his wallet. He doesn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39499) - you deserved it (2017)
On 07/15/2009 at 1:04am - love - by wtf (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML
I agree, your life sucks (9045) - you deserved it (44336)
On 07/15/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch. The waiter brought some bread and I started eating it as I waited for him to take my order. When he approached me he looked at me and said, "Don't eat too much bread honey. It'll make you fatter." Not fat, fatter. I never thought of myself as fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33229) - you deserved it (4553)
On 07/14/2009 at 2:03pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Madrid)
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45654) - you deserved it (3070)
On 07/14/2009 at 10:02am - misc - by dinapar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my crush came over and we began to fool around. He started to kiss my stomach, and just when I was getting into it, he pulled away with a disgusted look on his face, wiped his mouth, and said, "We'll continue this when you get rid of all your bellybutton lint." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15035) - you deserved it (43042)
On 07/14/2009 at 5:41am - intimacy - by unlucky_number13 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58867) - you deserved it (9178)
On 07/12/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was attempting to teach a bunch of 2nd and 5th graders on why it's so important to face your fears and try your best. It was going pretty well, until I was attacked by a pair of butterflies. I am afraid of butterflies - I ran away screaming like a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9759) - you deserved it (38542)
On 07/12/2009 at 12:35am - animals - by tryscal - United States (California)
Today, my daughter's handsome new boyfriend came to visit our house. When I opened the door, he asked me where Diana's mother was. I assumed he was about to be charming and say that he thought I was her sister. He didn't. He assumed that I was Diana's grandmother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41352) - you deserved it (3342)
On 07/12/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by yesnomaybeso7 (woman) - United States (California)
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