About narutofan001 : All you need to know about me is that there is nothing to know.
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Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25267) - you deserved it (1706)
On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States
Today, my 16 year old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23525) - you deserved it (2042)
On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39143) - you deserved it (3076) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)
Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33894) - you deserved it (3068)
On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29768) - you deserved it (2049)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:13pm - misc - by fuckedbyahipster (man) - Finland
Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41477) - you deserved it (10282)
On 06/13/2013 at 11:13am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46447) - you deserved it (3499)
On 06/12/2013 at 1:33pm - health - by unknown - United States (California)
Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49278) - you deserved it (6935)
On 06/12/2013 at 12:47pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54066) - you deserved it (2675)
On 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
I agree, your life sucks (59525) - you deserved it (3298)
On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I found out that my parents were artists when they met. My mom said that I was one of their best projects yet. My sister, hearing what my mother said, broke my week-old PS3 in a rage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42485) - you deserved it (2830)
On 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm - misc - by H1dd3n (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50032) - you deserved it (13607)
On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50313) - you deserved it (3969)
On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20949) - you deserved it (107364)
On 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47587) - you deserved it (2268)
On 05/28/2013 at 4:09am - love - by really? (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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