nanny1010

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nanny1010

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 June 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1237
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nanny1010's page activity

Visits<b>optimusic</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 12:11am<b>PotatoesAndCake</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 5:31am<b>verenice6565</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 12:24am<b>ChloeMeyers_Xo</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:49pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 11:46am<b>MeowcolasCage</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 10:42am<b>amc597</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 9:00pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 4:03am<b>waffule365</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 1:58am<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 3:37am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/29/2013 at 12:26pm<b>raesos91</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 2:10pm<b>Love_sosa</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 9:01am<b>haleyXcross</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 1:44am<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 11:14pm<b>Seany_93</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 4:10am<b>MaxG123</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 7:49pm<b>B5B0N35</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 9:42pm

Fucked!<b>PotatoesAndCake</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 11:31am

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nanny1010's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

by Cracky / 11/27/2012 at 9:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

by dgilbs / 11/12/2012 at 5:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

by mm / 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Warrington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

by Squid / 11/07/2012 at 12:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love

Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

by Medic / 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

by cupnoodles / 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

by Lunazel93 / 10/22/2012 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

by afraidtosleep / 10/13/2012 at 2:35am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

by Dino / 10/12/2012 at 2:36am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids