just turned 17, hard to find a girlfriend because every girl around where i live like guys that treat them like shit and im the opposite
and i have SUPER bad luck, seriously...
Music: A Day to Remember, Nickasaur, NeverShoutNever, Owl City, Many more but those are my favs/main
myspace.com/nandofer92
Message me?
Today, I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22956) - you totally deserved it (37076)
On 05/28/2009 at 1:15pm - health - by ITguy1982 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38747) - you totally deserved it (10310)
On 05/26/2009 at 12:38am - kids - by tsakashvili (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, while working at a children's day camp, one of the kids who is allergic to peanuts went into anaphylactic shock. I ran and grabbed the boys eppe pen. I was holding it backwards so the injection went into my hand, causing me to pass out and both of us to be rushed to hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16889) - you totally deserved it (33168)
On 05/14/2009 at 10:11am - work - by MC (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried and peed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50347) - you totally deserved it (7714)
On 05/12/2009 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57541) - you totally deserved it (1984)
On 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my fiance proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiance stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51436) - you totally deserved it (7968)
On 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my Dad took me to a yankee game at the new yankee stadium. During the 5th inning the camera crew put a man on the big screen. I then yelled out "Look at that ugly asshole!". It was the guy sitting 4 seats to the left of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4583) - you totally deserved it (56014)
On 05/10/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by XxespoxX (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, is the day my husband was supposed to come home from a six month tour at sea. I heard the door bell ring. I sprinted to the door expecting to hold my honey bear, instead two uniformed sailors with a folded flag greeted me. I burst into tears. My husband walked up behind me. He laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (110837) - you totally deserved it (7137)
On 05/10/2009 at 9:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I received a list of employee names who were losing their jobs and I had to remove them from the system as I work for IT. I was on the list. That's right. My last responsibility as an employee was removing myself from the system for security reasons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51745) - you totally deserved it (1246)
On 05/10/2009 at 4:41pm - work - by IT_4_Hire (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was in an elevator with my family and a family I didn't know. I was about to press the number when somebody came up behind me. I thought it was my brother trying to press the number first, so I aggressivly pushed him out of the way. Turns out it was the other family's ten year old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5745) - you totally deserved it (35131)
On 04/25/2009 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the women's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33076) - you totally deserved it (2487)
On 04/25/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by GreenMonstR (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14583) - you totally deserved it (38751)
On 04/25/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was walking through town when I saw a plastic bag on the ground. Trying to be a good citizen, I picked it up, intending on throwing it in the trash. When I looked up, there wasn't a trash can for another hundred feet. So I put it back down. Now I've got a $200 fine to pay for littering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16193) - you totally deserved it (33537)
On 04/24/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by fml (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (112698) - you totally deserved it (11735)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
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