About nalia18 : That one black guy
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nalia18's favorite FMLs
by Vince / 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML
by pinkleopleurodon / 12/09/2011 at 7:23am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
by lebato97 / 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked out of the store, car keys in hand, only to discover my car was missing. After a frantic search, I started to hyperventilate and a nearly had a full-blown panic attack. Then I remembered I walked to the store. I am an idiot. FML
by picklemonger / 12/08/2011 at 2:58pm / Canada / Transportation
by cuppycakeslove / 12/07/2011 at 6:35am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by smileytheface / 12/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, I was fired from my job on account of "sexual harassment" toward female employees. The harassment? Jokingly offering them foot massages when they were complaining about how their feet ached after a long shift, and complimenting them about their appearance when they felt down. FML
by LucklessNiceGuy / 12/05/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/03/2011 at 1:19pm / United States / Kids
by Sam / 12/03/2011 at 5:03am / United States / Transportation
Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML
by Makala / 12/03/2011 at 3:15am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
by sometingwong / 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by no low five / 11/30/2011 at 6:17am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 10:13pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
by Dani / 11/28/2011 at 7:34am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2011 at 5:58pm / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…