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nachohuerres's favorite FMLs
by Kyley / 05/08/2012 at 7:55am / United States / Love
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
by Anonymous / 03/18/2010 at 6:39am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by liu_kang / 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 03/15/2010 at 3:34pm / United States (Nevada) / Love
Today, while celebrating at my friend's birthday party, I fell down a flight of stairs, got into a fight with my flatmate, and ruined my friend's outfit after drinking too much. I'm expecting I'll need to find a new place to live tomorrow. FML
by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 11:55am / United Kingdom (Swansea) / Miscellaneous
by cheated / 03/11/2010 at 7:50am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML
by xXxtwilightLUV95xXx / 03/08/2010 at 10:14am / United States (Texas) / Love
by anonymous / 03/08/2010 at 10:12am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML
by imabadperson / 03/06/2010 at 7:24am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, after a particularly gruesome nightmare about spiders due to my irrational phobia, I decided to try and desensitise myself by googling 'house spiders'. I can't stop the feeling of something crawling over every inch of my body, but at least I now know they can live up to six years. FML
by joolsie / 02/27/2010 at 9:03pm / United Kingdom (York) / Health
Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML
by C.Neyy / 02/21/2010 at 2:04am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, whilst at work, my dad decided to call me and sing an entire rendition of 'The Gambler' by Kenny Rogers. There was a big line of people, and my boss had been standing nearby checking out my phone. I had to stand there and listen to the whole song. FML
by embarrassedinretail / 01/20/2010 at 5:01am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2009 at 6:41am / Singapore / Love
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- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…