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myonlyoffer

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myonlyoffer
  • Town/Country : Flint, America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 November 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 233
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About myonlyoffer : I'm a female who loves to participate in activism and lobbying. I'm very much into the human rights campaign, and I would be the "flamboyant" one in the family. =D Hurray girls.

myonlyoffer's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

myonlyoffer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents. They were both on the bed, and I was lying on the floor next to their bed. Halfway through the movie, apparently forgetting that I was in the room, my parents started getting friendly. Three feet away from me. FML

#3421405 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (52517) - you deserved it (3144)

On 07/02/2009 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Ghostie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I had my first kiss with this guy that I really liked. We started making out and he stopped and had this bizarre look on his face. I thought he was liking it, so I said, "You're a good kisser, you wanna go to the bedroom?" He replied with, "I'll pass, you have really bad breath". FML

#3403324 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (14848) - you deserved it (38364)

On 07/01/2009 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by kelscait (woman) - United States

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

#3398607 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (57814) - you deserved it (4922)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by wildthing (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed for shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML

#3380486 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (39513) - you deserved it (14042)

On 06/30/2009 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got into a heated argument at a restaurant with a guy I am seeing because he refused to let me pay for the bill and I thought it was sexist. When he finally agreed, I gave the waiter my card, only to have him return a minute later telling me it was declined. FML

#2965217 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (7932) - you deserved it (50435)

On 06/17/2009 at 11:25am - money - by feminist (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I finished the run for a play in which I played a gay man. Now that all the performances are over, I have kissed a man more times in my life than I have kissed a woman. I'm straight. FML

#2963863 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (40106) - you deserved it (6922)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:06am - love - by yashmoshin1 (man) - United States

Today, I walked past a building site near my house, there was a sign saying "WARNING - Beware of the scaffolding". I started laughing at the stupidity of the sign, and walked straight into a metal pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks (4772) - you deserved it (38422)

On 06/17/2009 at 9:40am - misc - by jonnyc - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML

#2959113 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (43778) - you deserved it (3073)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was flying home to Milwaukee after a weekend in South Carolina. When I got to the airport, my reservation didn't match up with any flights. Turns out Expedia booked me on a flight that doen't exist. I spent ten hours waiting in the airport for a two hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks (30025) - you deserved it (1831)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:02am - misc - by lojo (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went on a date with this guy and he was on his phone the whole night. When I got home I checked his facebook since he barely paid attention to me. His status was, "So-and-so is taking out the trash" from mobile posted an hour ago. I got home from my date 30 mins ago. FML

#2920786 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (29156) - you deserved it (2211)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by skreweduP (woman) - United States

Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML

#2914098 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (40372) - you deserved it (9767)

On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML

#2911637 (367)

I agree, your life sucks (35693) - you deserved it (4907)

On 06/15/2009 at 1:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I introduced my ex-wife to my new girlfriend. They got along so well that my new girlfriend is going to my ex-wife's house tonight "just to hang out". FML

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494 (859)

I agree, your life sucks (88877) - you deserved it (52488)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142 (288)

I agree, your life sucks (70750) - you deserved it (14824)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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