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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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mymilkshake

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mymilkshake
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 280
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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mymilkshake's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

#4462410 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (918) - you deserved it (2436)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was fired from my volunteer job. Why? Because they said I was working so hard and doing such a good job that I was making the real staff look bad. FML

#3506219 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (48359) - you deserved it (2481)

On 07/05/2009 at 3:04pm - work - by WorkingGirl (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

#3505255 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (32555) - you deserved it (15632)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML

#3503017 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (41963) - you deserved it (3323)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:10pm - health - by blinded (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

#3500742 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (35601) - you deserved it (1979)

On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss told me he is a superhero. He has written countless comics about his crusades and adventures. I make fifty dollars an hour less than him. FML

#3494864 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (29891) - you deserved it (2595)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:53am - money - by iloveZELOS (woman) - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to light a firework in the back seat of my car while we were driving down the interstate. FML

#3486397 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (32736) - you deserved it (4562)

On 07/04/2009 at 6:48pm - misc - by litup (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML

#1706797 (237)

I agree, your life sucks (59526) - you deserved it (5879)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm - kids - by fmal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML

#1619469 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (48959) - you deserved it (20069)

On 05/04/2009 at 5:09am - kids - by Amey (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML

#1579657 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (48377) - you deserved it (2587)

On 05/03/2009 at 12:16am - kids - by itswhateverr (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML

#1551610 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (74444) - you deserved it (6210)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792 (843)

I agree, your life sucks (228673) - you deserved it (19499)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to Itunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (335308) - you deserved it (16552)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had an elaborate plan to ask this girl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes". FML

#574471 (249)

I agree, your life sucks (159932) - you deserved it (24631)

On 03/24/2009 at 11:41am - love - by Kaeyne (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227 (490)

I agree, your life sucks (154499) - you deserved it (18168)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)